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Flip the Script on Peace

Posted on November 9, 2023 by Andrea Hylen Leave a comment

Week Two: Flip the Script on Peace:

Day Eight: November 8, 2023

Flip the Script on Peace

“Peace cannot exist without justice, justice cannot exist without fairness, fairness cannot exist without development, development cannot exist without democracy, democracy cannot exist without respect for the identity and worth of cultures and peoples. It is not enough to speak out against war; the causes of war must be eliminated.” Rigoberta Menchú Tum

(Rigoberta Menchú Tum is a K’iche’ Guatemalan human rights activist, feminist, and Nobel Peace Prize laureate. Menchú has dedicated her life to publicizing the rights of Guatemala’s Indigenous peoples during and after the Guatemalan Civil War, and to promoting Indigenous rights internationally.)

When I think about peace, the first thoughts that arise are songs about an ideal of the world I want to live in.

“I’d like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony.” ~The New Seekers

“We are the world. We are the children. We are the ones who make a brighter day so let’s start giving.” ~USA for Africa

How will I know…
I know because my heart tells me so.

~Beautiful World in Existence

People holding hands, caring, and living in peace and harmony was the fantasy world I lived in growing up, not the real world of my existence.

I was raised to be a good girl. To treat people with kindness. To share with others. To serve and help people who did not have as much as we did.

I was also taught not to speak about conflict; to keep my mouth shut; to ‘be peace’ even when the family system I grew up in was anything but peace. I learned to play nice, entertain and create distractions. I learned not to ask for what I want and that having needs means you are needy – a quality that is highly undesirable.

Peace involved “keeping the peace” by people pleasing, denial and avoidance. Never draw attention to any of the pain and suffering in the world. Be nice.

I was not taught how to navigate conflict, discord, speak up or how to handle fear, anger, jealousy, or grief.

The Vietnam war was the focus of the nightly news. If you google wars in the world during different decades, you will see that war is everywhere.

Warring in politics, human rights, gender, and race.

Warring in the family with alcohol, verbal and physical abuse and untreated childhood trauma from adults who are in charge.

Cultivating peace on earth is a frequency of energy that begins within.

There is still war happening in different parts of the world. There are people on the front line and others who are witnessing. You may have family or a lineage that is connected to a current war. You may be a person who feels the impact energetically.

In your home, war may be a divorce, an illness, or another life circumstance that has created an internal struggle where you are at war with yourself.

As Rigoberta Menchú Tum wrote in her quote: It is not enough to speak out against war; the causes of war must be eliminated.

This is where we begin the week of flipping the script on peace.

Share your experiences, as much as you want to, in the comments.

Day 8 Prompts:

*Where have you flipped the script on peace?

*What were you taught?

*What have you learned on your own?

*What do you want to change now?

*Write about a war that is happening now and how that is affecting you.

For more of Flip the Script posts go to my page on Medium: https://andreahylen.medium.com/

Posted in Uncategorized

Flip the Script: Consciously Co-creating the Future: An Introduction

Posted on November 1, 2023 by Andrea Hylen Leave a comment

Week One: Flip the Script: An Introduction

Day One

Let’s begin!

“No, this is not the beginning of a new chapter in my life; this is the beginning of a new book! That first book is already closed, ended, and tossed into the seas; this new book is newly opened, has just begun! Look, it is the first page! And it is a beautiful one!”

― C. JoyBell C.

Every year, in the Incubator: An online co-working space for women exploring creative self-expression, I post a 100-day exploration and experiment around a topic. This year the topic is Flip the Script: Consciously Co-creating the Future. The inspiration to explore this topic came from a book called The Flip: Turn Your World Around by David H. Rippe and Jared Rosen, published in June 2006.

When the book was released in 2006, I had already flipped the script on health care, education for my children, caring for the environment and living a shared resources lifestyle. As I re-read the book earlier this year, I was curious about what incremental changes could we make to better the world now?

I felt this topic was a good fit for The Incubator because the process of creating involves innovation, changing a story, shifting perspective, reframing a moment, and finding ways to express feelings, thoughts, and experiences. The women are already flipping the script in the creative process and with their view of the world. That doesn’t mean that we all agree on how we want to flip the script and change things in the world and that’s okay. Different views can still be focused on a desire to better yourself and the society which leads us to different paths.

While the Incubator is in process, I’ve decided to post one or two entries to my blog each week, to bring you into the conversation and exploration. There is so much change going on in the world with breakdowns of old, outdated institutions, flipping the script will create breakthroughs and a world that works for everyone.

This week, as part of the Introduction, the topics include identity, the pandemic, a world of light and dark, carving a new path, consciously co-creating and a practice for regulating the nervous system.

From the book, The Flip: Turn Your World Around

“Becoming a flipster, participating in one of the greatest shifts in consciousness in humankind, does not require credentials. Political affiliations are meaningless. The flip doesn’t care if you graduated summa cum laude, got your GED, or dropped out of high school. Race and gender are immaterial. Nationality is moot. It matters little if you are an unemployed steelworker, a corporate executive, a sales rep, or a social worker. All are welcome to the flip. There is only one pre-requisite – the desire to better yourself and society.”

The 100-day topic is an invitation to ask questions, examine your beliefs, and notice where it may be time to flip the script in any area of your life. It is also an invitation to remember where you have already flipped the script and to notice the gifts and strengths that appeared out of shifting your perspective.

I want to emphasize that the Incubator is not a program with things you need to DO. If the 100 days is a resource that feels supportive, dive in, or dip your toes in occasionally. If it doesn’t feel supportive, then ignore the daily posts. Stay focused on your intentions and the art, writing and self-expression you want to explore.

There are no grades and no comparison with each other. Our creative expression is different so tuning in to what you need and processing that during our monthly coaching conversations will support your unique journey.

The 100 days is designed to stir the pot around a topic. To explore, uncover, deconstruct, and invite solutions. This may create discomfort or bring up feelings. Remember that breakdowns lead to breakthroughs. Solutions are born out of challenges and by listening to what is unknown.

In writing the 100 days, I am looking for patterns in the world around me and reflecting on possibilities. What I write today may lead me to a different idea tomorrow. I write with confidence, humility, and reverence regarding our differences. Ideas are fluid and evolving. The older I get, the more questions I ask because life has shown me how often I limit myself by thinking there is only one way to do things.

Keep this in mind as you read the prompts and think: Both/And vs Either/Or. My idea does not negate your idea. I can add chocolate chips to my muffin recipe and you can add cranberries to yours – or not eat muffins at all! 

Day One Prompts:

*What do the words “Flip the Script” mean to you? This could be an idea, an experience, or different clusters of words.

*Write about a time when a belief or expectation changed. It may have been something you judged about another person and then you found yourself in a similar situation. Or you heard someone speak and their words influenced a change in your perspective.

*How did that change impact your life?

Posted in Uncategorized

Taboo Topic: Grief Has No Time Limit

Posted on November 28, 2022 by Andrea Hylen Leave a comment

My daughter was graduating from Santa Monica College and as the graduation date got closer, I began to feel the weight of my husband’s absence. He had died 10 years earlier and this was another milestone that he would miss. A week before the graduation, an event page popped up in my email. There was a “Death Over Dinner Party” scheduled in Venice, a few miles from where I was staying. I had always been curious about this event and the timing seemed perfect.

Opening the wooden gate, I walked towards the front door. The host invited me in and with a sweep of her arm, pointed to a table set for ten with beautiful Mexican floral plates, silverware, and sunflowers. I added my couscous and tomato salad contribution to the table and found a seat next to the window. People entered the room quietly making eye contact and a simple nod of the head with a smile. When everyone had arrived, the host invited us to pass the food and started with a few short question-prompts to begin the conversation.

When it was my turn to share my story, I began to speak about my husband’s death ten years earlier and how our daughter was graduating from college. Then I started to sob. Everyone waited for me to be ready to continue to speak. In between sobs and blowing my nose, I talked about the sadness I felt that my husband was once again missing an event in our daughter’s life and the grief I felt for my daughter’s loss, too. I shared how lonely I felt and yet, in that moment I didn’t feel alone. When I was complete, each person acknowledged me in a simple way and we continued to go around the table, listening to each person’s story of grief and loss.

When I left the house, a few hours later, I felt lighter. It was a safe haven to express the pain, to be seen and heard, to release it and then move back into the world.

Life goes on but so does grief. When you have experienced a loss, it makes you vulnerable. There is a scar that will never go away. Something has happened that has rocked your world. You learn that Life is fragile.

In healing grief, there is a stage of acceptance and even in the acceptance, death can feel surreal. My husband died sixteen years ago and there are times when I can’t believe he is not here. It happens when there are life events like Covid-19 and feeling, “Wow, I can’t believe he is not here for this. I wonder what he would think.” In that moment, I miss him deeply. No more pillow talk. No more sharing ideas.

In grief, we move forward but there is no returning to normal. I think that is the biggest misconception, that you will return to “normal”, and that healing is linear.

Grief can surface at a birthday or anniversary but not always.

Grief can be situational, arising as if no time has passed because of a current event.

Grief can be activated by a scent or sight, sound, feeling, or another death or loss.

Grief can create a spiral of feelings decades later with a tsunami of emotion that feels debilitating.

My brother died from SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) in 1961, when I was 4 years old. He was two months old. There were only two times I remember hearing my parents mention my brother, Kenneth. Once when I was a teenager blaring Alice Cooper’s song, “Dead Babies Can’t Take Care of Themselves,” and my dad yelling at me to turn off that music and how I was being insensitive to my mother. Insensitive? She never talked about the death of her baby, how was I to know?

And the other time was when my son, Cooper, had his second open heart surgery when he was one year old. My parents came to visit him in the hospital. Sitting across from each other, my dad told my mom that whenever he was in Massachusetts for business, he would stop at the cemetery and visit their son at the family plot. My mom said, “I never knew that.” My parents were in their sixties and their son had died thirty years earlier. I felt like I was witnessing an intimate moment, sharing something that had been unspoken for so long.

With grief, instead of assuming that you know what someone wants or needs, keep the door open for conversation. If a friend or family member tells you they don’t want to talk about it, honor that in the moment. Give it space. Invite the conversation in a year or two or even ten. Let them know you think about their loss and want to understand what they are experiencing, even if it comes twenty years later. Are you willing to ask and to listen?

Grief is messy and dark so practice being with the discomfort.
Reflect on your own mortality, including your fears.
Hold space for someone’s grief with compassion, not pity.
It’s okay to feel uncomfortable.

Examples of words from other cultures that hold the door open. All of the words invite an ongoing relationship with the deceased:

Greece: May you live to remember her.

Jewish: May her memory be a blessing.

Egypt: May her spirit remain with you in your life.

There are wonderful, supportive communities where people can express grief. Your family and friends do not have to be the only source of support. But, when grief is treated like a “conversation hot potato”, it limits connection and intimacy. It closes the door to real conversations about life… and death.

Angel image: tim-mossholder–GtSbrl25Ns-unsplash

Andrea Hylen: Ancestral Lineage Healing Practitioner, Author of Heal My Voice: An Evolutionary Woman’s Journey. Mental Health Fitness and Somatic-Intuitive Coach, Creator of The Incubator: On-line Co-working Space for Cultural Creatives.

Posted in Taboo Topic

Special Introductory Price

Posted on August 2, 2022 by Andrea Hylen Leave a comment

Ancestral Lineage Healing – Introductory Rate

If you have questions before setting up a session:

30-minute discovery session to ask questions about ancestral lineage sessions, the Incubator or coaching/mentoring sessions.

Click here to set up 30 minute question and answer session.

Three sessions: $175 (regularly $325)

*Session One: An assessment of the wellness of 4 lines (grandparents) (90-minute session) We talk a bit and then I lead you into a process that is like a guided meditation.

*Session Two: Focusing on one of your lineages to connect with a guide and set up a container for healing. (60-minute session)

*Session Three: An integrative session with next step suggestions. (60-minute session)

Posted in Uncategorized

Remember to Dance

Posted on July 10, 2019 by Andrea Hylen Leave a comment

Originally published on Consciously Woman: January 23, 2019

Okay, so we are calling out the underbelly, the monster in the closet, the thing that holds us back from creating or having what we want.

A few weeks ago, I shared my words, my intention for the year, and how the thing I’ve noticed over the years is that the underbelly, the negative, shows up first. An example is: set an Intention for Patience and the thing that shows up are long lines at the bank, traffic jams, delays in being paid. In essence, pray for patience and all of your impatience shows up first! Then, you Practice Patience and you Become the Patience. It doesn’t just magically appear without practicing a new behavior.

One of my words for this year is Redefine: What is the role I am playing as a mother, daughter, sister, friend and business owner? What is shifting and what needs a redefinition for me to fully embrace the next part of my life? The thing that is surfacing is ageism. I was excited to turn 30, 40 and 50. When I turned 59 a few years ago, the anticipation of turning 60 brought up a lot of fear and sadness. Sixty years old had become a marker of the end of life. My husband and two close friends died in their 60^th year. So, claiming my age at 62 and claiming the wisdom, the resilience, and desires for this next part of my life requires letting go of something.

It’s two weeks into the new year, tuning in, I am aware of a few things that are rising for redefinition. One of them is:

Body movement

The first thing I noticed is that my mind has been overactive for a few weeks. My thoughts are so loud and are filled with chatter that is defensive, limiting, self-defeating. Whoa! It’s like a major mind f**k of insecurity and defensiveness and regrets.

My youngest daughter and I have been clearing boxes of photos and memorabilia, fifteen plastic bins to be exact, and it is a minefield of opportunity to clear the mental garbage. So, much old garbage is surfacing. Yuck! People have died. Dreams have died. Expectations were not met and resilience and imagination were ignited. More of my hair is grey this year. Digging into the photos and the feelings is revealing the mind chatter.

My practice has been to listen and write down what I am hearing. Then, to reach a point, where I go into the bathroom, look in the mirror and say, “Enough!” Looking myself in the eyes to remember who I am. Using tools for clearing. Staring into my eyes. Listen, clear. Look at the feelings head on. Return to stillness.

Reviewing memories and releasing photos, has tuned me into the body and caring for myself. I have a 20 lb weight fluctuation that is normal for me and I’m currently at the top of that weight. The practical part of this weight fluctuation is clothing. Living house free and traveling to different locations, I have to be able to fit into my clothes! There is no closet to go to for different choices. I have a wardrobe that fits into my suitcase and those are the clothes, I’m wearing. Okay, it’s time to look at what I’m eating. How I’m moving. What emotions am I holding onto? What is the inner and outer of this weight? How is this distracting me from creating more fun?

(I have learned that with living house-free and travel to so many different places, that the extra weight serves me emotionally sometimes. I’ve learned to notice but not judge. I recognized that ten lbs were gained in the last month without any extra food. I didn’t eat holiday food this year so the weight feels like emotional protection. That is true. It is also true that I can look at ways to feel safe without the weight. I am redefining what I need for safety.)

In the Spirit of Redefine, it is time to redefine movement. Coaching on Zoom instead of the phone means I sit more than I used to. Writing and researching and creating for 8-12 hours a day, is exhilarating and it is my passion! But, it’s not good for my body to be so inactive. I can be like a plant sitting in bed or on the couch and not moving except to get up for food, drink and to pee. Even though I walk about 5 miles every day, that isn’t enough exercise for my muscles and my belly. I have never been someone who focused on exercise, as much as moving naturally. Going places. Cooking. Cleaning. Organizing. Lifting. Standing. Walking. My awareness right now is to make movement a priority. Work less on the computer and get out and move for several hours a day. Pull myself away from writing and find ways to move. The movement is important for my body and mind. It helps to process emotions.

In the redefinition, I am conscious of setting up structures for support. That is the key for me: “What structures do you have in place to support the shedding of the old and embracing of the new? What voices from the past are surfacing in my inner space?”

My current motto is: Move the body and remember to dance!

Andrea Hylen: Author of Heal My Voice: An Evolutionary Woman’s Journey. Creator of The Writing Incubator, on-line writing community. www.andreahylen.com

Posted in An Evolutionary Woman's Journey Series

Wonder-Wander Love

Posted on July 3, 2019 by Andrea Hylen Leave a comment

When I was three years old, my father wrote a six-page letter to his brother about our travels from California to Minnesota where my Dad had received a promotion for his work at the Pillsbury Company. Most of the letter is about the national parks we stopped at (my mom, dad and sister, age one) and the beauty of nature, an imprint that I have carried throughout my life. Many trips to national parks. I love it!

And there is something else. Interwoven in his letter are comments about things I was doing and saying on the trip. At age three, he painted a verbal picture of who I was meeting, my curiosity and the things that fascinated me. The cowboy hats, the wooden sidewalks, the cows in the middle of the road. My wonder-wander love is present.

My favorite days are spent wandering. Wandering is a practice like yoga, meditation and writing. It involves wiping the slate clean. Sitting in silence. Listening for an inspiration. Asking the question: What does my soul want to experience today?

Sometimes wandering is a solitary practice, where I allow myself to be empty in the anticipation of what will cross my path that day. Meeting people along the way. Observing my surroundings. Taking inspired action. Sometimes wandering includes a dog I am pet sitting or a day with my five-year-old granddaughter. I surrender and follow their lead.

The funny thing about wandering is that sometimes it leads me to explore in different ways. Sometimes I am inspired to nap or go to a movie or write or even create a newsletter or webpage for my business. Wandering is a surrender that helps me to connect with desire and inspiration. It is a connection to body wisdom. And at the end of the period of wandering, there is clarity about my life.

Last week, I was inspired to go to Restorative Yoga. Tuning in, I felt a rush, a push to leave the house immediately and walk to the bus stop on Main Street. I felt shot out of a canon, only grabbing my purse and saying a quick good-bye to the cats. Walking quickly to the corner, I am at the bus stop, just as the bus was arriving.

After yoga class at Naam Yoga-Santa Monica, I felt inspired to start walking the two miles back to the condo instead of taking the bus. I knew I could change my mind along the bus route. After walking for a ½ mile, I looked down at the sidewalk and saw a wallet. I looked around and wondered if I was on Candid Camera. Was this a joke? No one was around so I picked up the wallet, looked for identification and started walking down the street looking for the owner. A half block later, I saw three men, frantically looking through packages and pockets and looking around on the ground. I said, “Did you lose a wallet?” One man starts nodding his head up and down. I hand it to him. Smile and walk away. I was thinking that maybe that was the inspiration to walk instead of take the bus. I was there at the exact right time to assist this man from a foreign land. A reminder of how connected we all are.

…whoever you are, or whatever it is that you do, when you really want something, it’s because that desire originated in the soul of the universe.~ The Alchemist by Paulo Coehlo

Wandering helps me remember who I am.

Andrea Hylen: Author of Heal My Voice: An Evolutionary Woman’s Journey. Creator of The Incubator: An on-line coworking space for women creatives. October 1-February 28 every year.

Posted in An Evolutionary Woman's Journey Series

Push the Pause Button

Posted on June 19, 2019 by Andrea Hylen Leave a comment

(Originally published on Consciously Woman: January 31, 2018)

https://consciouslywoman.com/enjoy-the-adventure/

“If the bamboo is carefully tended, watched over and nurtured, in the first year it grows two inches, in the next year it grows two inches, in the third year it grows two inches, in the fourth year it grows two inches, and then in the fifth year it grows eighty feet!” ~Mary Manin Morissey

I was thinking about the question. “How do you work smart,” when I remembered this quote about growing bamboo. You tend it, water it and wait. You don’t dig in the dirt, and pull the roots, and pull the top of the plant to make it grow. You tend it, water it and wait…

Coming from a family of doers who value productivity and tangible results, I was conditioned to work hard and that led me to burn out a few times in my life. Why? Because I thought that my value was in the doing, the working, the long hours, and in truth, the suffering. The more I worked, the harder I worked, the more value I had. One of the things that changed my life was a lay off from a job, and an illness that led to more time for meditation and writing. I had to stop and see all of the ways I added in busyness, when what I really needed was something else.

The magic in my life started to appear when I learned to push the pause button and create space for daydreaming and wandering. I learned that you can’t push the river, there is a time to climb the mountain, and there is a time to stop and look around at what is on the mountain. To breathe the air, to taste the sweetness, to hear the birds singing, to watch the clouds drifting.

Pushing pause for me now is stepping away from the computer and taking the dog for a walk, or staring out the window to see what I can notice in this moment. It means walking 250 steps every hour when my Fitbit vibrates and says, “Ready for a stroll?” or the computer voice, Alex calls out the time change every hour. These are reminders that time is passing and I press pause, even for a minute or five minutes to see it, feel it, and tune into my body wisdom.

Yes, I have a flip chart in the corner of my room with goals, lists and checklists. Yes, I do like to work and I am super productive. But the real power in working smarter is the breath, the pause in between the “doing.” I close my eyes for a moment and notice what my body is telling me. What am I feeling? What am I experiencing in this moment? Is this the best use of my time right now?

I know that the answers I seek are encoded into the cells of my body. To hear the next awakening, the next inspiration, I must create the space to listen and to witness what is happening within and around me. It takes slowing down long enough to hear. Pause. Listen. Reflect. It is a practice like meditation and yoga. Finding the balance in being and doing.

My mantra: Enjoy the adventure.

My life is an adventure and I want to enjoy every minute of it! A hot cup of coffee. A smile exchanged with a stranger. An idea for a blog post. A coaching session with a client. And even a check mark on one of my to-do items that sets off a pause to celebrate and dance!

Andrea Hylen: Author of Heal My Voice: An Evolutionary Woman’s Journey. Creator of The Writing Incubator, on-line writing community. www.andreahylen.com

Posted in An Evolutionary Woman's Journey Series

Developing the Qualities of Feminine Leadership

Posted on June 13, 2019 by Andrea Hylen Leave a comment

It was 1974. I was in the 11th grade at Phoenixville Area High School and I was chosen to be the Captain of the show flags in the marching band. Right before our last local parade of the season, and before the band camp started where I would receive guidance on show flag routines and leading a squad of girls, the current Captain had a family emergency and was not available to lead us. I was thrust into leadership with no idea what I was doing! My first thought was to lead like a man using the stereotype of a platoon sergeant in the Army. I yelled at the 12 girls to straighten up, to present their flags with more precision. Stand tall. Straighten up. Sharper moves. Get in line. I was yelling the orders during the whole parade and I was exhausted by the end. I felt terrible and it wasn’t fun at all. I can remember feeling defeated and unsure of myself, questioning my ability to lead. The current Captain had always made it feel so fun. How could I lead like that?

At the summer band camp training, I learned new routines, observed the leadership and marched all day for a week. The fun returned. When our high school band camp started the week before school, I was eager to share what I had learned with the girls. While the other marching band groups: batons, rifles, and musicians, were practicing in their separate groups, I decided to try a different approach to lead. Instead of focusing on precision and marching in straight lines, I told the girls I wanted to share new routines I learned at the training camp. I focused on having fun, team building and connection, seeing us as collaborators and asking for their ideas. This was why we were on the show flag squad. It was fun to be part of a team and we wanted the challenge to learn the routines.

In the afternoon, when all of the groups came together to learn the choreographed routine, we would perform at every football game intermission this fall season and in competitions with other marching bands, we were ready. The show flag girls were connected and focused. We had filled up with fun all morning, connected with our purpose and now we worked hard to become the best squad of all time.

It was the first time I could feel the power of working as a team and leading in a way that invited every voice into the circle. Seeing and valuing each other. When I think about feminine leadership, I remember that moment in time. The elements included creativity, connection, team building, collaboration, intuition. I have used this experience in work, raising children, and leading women’s circles. This is what it feels like to lead with the feminine leadership style.

Fast forward to 2013, and the Heal My Voice feminine leadership project. In an on-line circle of twenty women, in the dead of winter, we began to ask the question, what does it mean to be a feminine leader? The women in this writing circle ranged from a football player in a women’s league, to a woman who worked at NASA, to a woman who had adopted children from Russia, to a young female entrepreneur, to a woman who was homeschooling her children. We began to unravel all the ways we had been leaders. Student council President, Mother, Team leader, Engineer, Adoption Pioneer, Girl Scout Leader and Teacher. Our discussions focused on how we had been leaders in the past and how that was changing with new awareness. Who were we as leaders? What mistakes had we made? How had we corrected those mistakes and shifted? How did we want to lead now? Many of the women in this group had graduated from college in the 70’s and 80’s. We had enthusiastically entered the workforce, but we had been expected to lead like men. Even the clothing we wore, suits with shoulder pads, were to look like men. We had to cover up femininity which was seen as weakness. For those of us who had defined ourselves as volunteers, caregivers and mothers, we didn’t even acknowledge the leadership roles and qualities we were using because we were not paid a salary. We now know that leadership has nothing to do with a salary. It is in the choices and decisions we make and how we live our lives by example.

In our circle conversations, we defined feminine leadership as a balance of feminine and masculine qualities. We defined masculine qualities as structure, risk and action. We defined feminine qualities as creativity, empathy, holistic and intuition. Women and men can lead this way. So, why use the words “feminine leadership” if both women and men can use this balanced style? We are unraveling the toxicity and dysfunction around the words, “leadership” and “power.” Step into using personal power, inner wisdom, inspired action and feminine leadership: A balanced approach of doing and being. It is time to find a new authentic way to lead.

I leave you with a few questions to explore:

*Do you see yourself as a leader?

*What are the qualities you use to lead?

*What are your strengths and weaknesses?

*How do we lead together?

Andrea Hylen is the founder of Heal My Voice and the Writing Incubator, on-line writing communities with coaching support. www.andreahylen.com

Posted in Leadership

Birthing Your Voice

Posted on June 5, 2019 by Andrea Hylen Leave a comment

I began attending On Purpose Woman meetings in January 2007 when Evolutionary Women Retreats were coming to Maryland. I had a booming voice when it came to speaking on stage to 1000 Girl Scouts or organizing community events in Catonsville, Maryland. But, my voice in a room of 25-50 women who were networking “business” ideas was a trembling whisper. For six years, I practiced using my new voice in a safe space in the On Purpose Woman Community which ultimately helped me birth Heal My Voice. I became a speaker at meetings and was awarded Woman on Purpose in 2013. This community has continued to be a space that holds, encourages, and celebrates women, including me. Thank you to Founder Ginny Robertson for creating the organization and for being a mentor and friend. She is one of the women who has cheered me on and I am filled with gratitude!

This year, On Purpose Woman has become a global movement. There is an on-line magazine, on-line meetings through Zoom and in-person meetings in Maryland and Virginia, USA. Every time I hop on a Zoom meeting, I connect with women from all over the world. http://onpurposewomancommunity.com/

After a two year pause, On Purpose Woman Magazine is back and is available on-line. Kathryn Yarborough is the Creative Director for this new venture. She has created a beautiful publication. The covers are works of art by women!

From Ginny: “On Purpose Woman Magazine is A Force for Good, a place where women’s voices will be heard and an important piece of the On Purpose Woman Community Global Movement. Each month we’ll share ideas that inform, inspire, motivate, encourage and support you to be an On Purpose Woman.”

My men friends have told me that reading the articles by women have also provided inspiration for them. So, check it out!

Go here to subscribe: http://onpurposewomancommunity.com/magazine/

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/OnPurposeWomanMagazine/

My articles are in the first Six issues of this year.

On Purpose Woman Magazine:

January Issue: The Qualities of Feminine Leadership

February Issue: Liberating Your Voice

March Issue: Healing Your Lineage

April Issue: The Power of Personal Awakenings

May Issue: Intuition: Cultivating and Trusting Your Inner Voice

June Issue: Do you feel Empowered?

So, click on each month and check out the issues, then subscribe for future issues.

Andrea Hylen: Author of Heal My Voice: An Evolutionary Woman’s Journey. Creator of The Writing Incubator, on-line writing community. www.andreahylen.com

Posted in An Evolutionary Woman's Journey Series

Intuition: Cultivating and Trusting Your Inner Voice

Posted on May 29, 2019 by Andrea Hylen One comment

Originally published in On Purpose Woman: May 2019

(Illustration: Stefanie Weigele)

“It’s time to move.” Those words, communicated to me in a feeling, stopped me in my tracks. I asked, out loud, to no one in particular, “Am I moving?” I had been living in a house with seven people for ten months. Everything about it was fantastic! I loved the people, the activities, community living, sharing a huge kitchen, and loving my bedroom. I hadn’t really thought about moving.

The day I first heard the words, I was clearing things out of one of the bathrooms; old toiletries in a bathroom cabinet I rarely used. As soon as my hand touched the facial cleanser, I felt a ripple of energy go through my body and I heard the words, “It’s time to move.” The feeling and the words were subtle, barely a whisper and yet, I was familiar with the way my Higher Self communicates with me.

When I asked the questions, “Am I moving? Are we all moving together?” No answer. An hour later, I was in my bedroom going through some papers when I had the same sensation. A ripple of energy running from my hand, up my arm and through my body. I heard another whisper, “It’s time to move.”

I asked questions in meditation several times over the next week, continuing the conversation with myself by asking, “Are we all moving? Are we moving together or separately? If I don’t live here, where will I live? Where do I want to live?” My intuition was on radio silence. The only piece of information was that same feeling, that I would be moving. So, I paused and reflected on what actions I would be taking if I knew that I was going to move. I knew I would go through all of my physical possessions. Everything I had in my bedroom, in the house and in my small storage unit in Los Angeles. I would want to de-clutter before moving to a new location. And that is exactly what I did. For the next month, I went through everything I owned. I got rid of 14 boxes of stuff, eight bags of clothes and recycled three boxes of paper.

By the middle of April, the next piece of information arrived. The owner of the house was selling the house and we would all have to move when the lease expired at the beginning of June. My intuition had guided me to take action in preparation. I was ready. There were numerous conversations as a household. In the end, we all dispersed: four people stayed in Los Angeles, two people moved to New York while my intuition directed me to live on the road for a year and stay with Heal My Voice Authors and Board Members. The guidance was to have conversations, to live life, to finish three on-line projects and to collect ideas and wisdom, for the next step. I wanted to remember the beginning of Heal My Voice, where we started, and reflect on what was next.

Some of the keys of cultivating intuition are:

Create space to listen. Meditation, walk in nature, drive or cook your meals in silence. Your intuition requires empty, silent space.
Pay attention. When you get a feeling, a knowing, or when you hear words or feel a ripple of energy, acknowledge your intuition by asking questions or writing down the insight.
Take baby steps before you have the whole picture. Everything will be revealed in time. What’s the next step?
Intuition will bring connections, gifts, surprises. Let people help you.

When I announced my intention to friends and family the response came back with words like gypsy, nomad and free spirit. There was excitement, envy, fear and judgement in their eyes. What was I doing now? To some it looked like I was a wanderlust who was lost in an adventure with no goals, no purpose. It couldn’t be farther from the truth. I was living in flow as a daily practice, open to where I would be led next. Trusting that I would be guided.

People asked questions and they wanted answers. Where are you going? How long will you be there? What are you going to do? At first, I had no idea. I was listening and waiting. One day, I thought about my friend, Lucky Sweeny, and wondered about the possibility of staying with her for five days in Santa Barbara. I had a class to attend in San Francisco in a few weeks and wanted to stay on the West Coast for that. A few hours later, Lucky called me unexpectedly. She had been thinking about me and wanted to check in. I asked if I could stay with her June 1-5. She said yes and how the timing was perfect. And that is how it began. I had breakfast with my daughter, Hannah, then boarded a train in Burbank and took one step.

Five years later, I am still living house-free and living in the mystery of what is next. After living with Heal My Voice authors and family and friends, during the first year, I have now expanded to a membership with Trusted Housesitters, a free exchange of housing and office space for pet sitting. This gives me the space to write and coach on Zoom and explore creativity. Living with friends and family is my connection and community.

What’s next? All will be revealed when it is time.

I leave you with a few questions to explore:

*How do you receive guidance from your intuition?

*What practices do you use to create empty space?

*Write about a time when you experienced guidance from your intuition.

Andrea Hylen: Author of Heal My Voice: An Evolutionary Woman’s Journey. Creator of The Writing Incubator, on-line writing community. www.andreahylen.com

Posted in An Evolutionary Woman's Journey Series

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