Andrea Hylen

In 1978, I took one of the college courses that impacted and touched the deepest part of me. I was studying at Temple University with the focus of graduating with a BSW (Social Work degree). The course was simply called, “Human Sexuality,” and it made sense that this would reinforce the internships I had at the Women’s Health Concerns Committee and Planned Parenthood that year.

One of the powerful quotes shared in the class was from Virginia Satir, an author and family therapist.

“We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.” ~Virginia Satir

Our physical body needs touch in order to survive, maintain and grow!

That year at Christmas, I encouraged, coaxed and persuaded all of my boyfriend’s brothers and sisters to get up and hug each other after each person opened a present. I felt the importance of connection through hugging and touch. I was passionate about this wisdom that had been shared by Virginia Satir and I felt a full embodied YES! I felt the deep truth in her wisdom.

Between the ages of 21 and 48, there was no question that hugs and more hugs were shared with me throughout the day. I had a boyfriend, friends and family with regular hugs and touching. Then, I had a husband, children and home schooled in community based learning and all of the hugging was overflowing. 

Then something happened that changed everything. My husband died, my  oldest daughters moved out of the house, my youngest child was a teenager and my daily activities were with strangers. It was common to have long periods of time without hugging. Long periods of time when I was alone and I would even say that there was a part of my voice that became silent.

I now live in a house with six other people. One of the experiences I am having is the natural amount of hugging that happens throughout the day. I am becoming aware of what is opening in me. The power of touch is opening my intuition, deepening my purpose, and expanding my voice.

More to come soon… 

Don’t you love full circle moments? On February 16, 2011, I wrote this blog on another site and it mentions the work of Christine Arylo.  This week (2 years later!)  Liz Draman and I interviewed Christine on our radio show Voices of Love.

Click on this link to listen to the show. (Dare to Fall in Love with Yourself)

February 16, 2011

We have all been placed on earth to discover our own path. We will never be happy if we live someone else’s idea of life. ~James Van Praagh.

The best way to discover your own path is to develop a relationship with yourself, to cultivate self-love and to spend time in solitude.

There is a brilliant five minute video called, “How to be alone.” Filmed by Andrea Dorfman and written and performed by poet/singer/songwriter, Tanya Davis, it explores the idea of nurturing and developing the skill of being alone.

We are not really taught that it is okay to be alone.”You’ll find, it’s fine to be alone once you’re embracing it” a quote from the video.

Tanya suggests we start by making a list of acceptable places to be alone. The bathroom, the coffee shop, the library. Prayer and meditation are more acceptable places.Then, her poem invites you to take yourself to dinner with linens and silverware. Take yourself dancing and dance like no one is watching.

In one of the scenes she is sitting on a bench alone and opens you to the idea of how this creates a space for an unexpected conversation. She says, “It may never have happened, if you weren’t there sitting by yourself.”

More quotes from the film, “If you’re happy in your head, then solitude is best and alone is okay. It doesn’t mean you’re not connected.Take silence and respect it.”

There is a tendency to look outside of ourselves to fill time that could be spent alone.

How To Be Alone

During the last year, I spent many hours in solitude. Walking on the beach, sitting in coffee shops by myself, going to plays in small theaters and finding the joy in getting to know myself better. I have more clarity, joy, wisdom and feel a sense of grounded freedom. I encourage everyone to go on this journey with themselves. You are a magnificent being. Open to this discovery.

There is a wave of self-love appearing in events and on the internet. The Agape Spiritual Center in Los Angeles sponsors an event on Valentine’s Day with music, conversation, good food and hand massages. Self-love is encouraged and celebrated.

“The deep love you seek starts and ends with the love you have for you” ~Christine Arylo

Feb 13 has been declared an annual celebration called, Madly in Love with Me Day. Some of the suggestions for developing self-love first:

• Love yourself, all of you, especially the parts hard to love
• Settle for nothing less than your heart and soul desire
• Have only relationships full of unconditional love and respect
• Be nice to yourself (stop being so hard on you!) Develop compassion for who you are.
• Take care of yourself, without guilt (you give from the overflow)

Christine Arylo

Let’s all send ourselves pure unconditional love and open to the true path we are guided to follow. Knowing yourself will heal inner loneliness and the fear of loneliness.

Open to the gift of who you are and Celebrate!

Day 26 of 100 Days of Blogging

I had the opportunity to answer 5 provocative questions asked by Ann Quasman host of WomanTalk Live Radio Show. The description of Ann’s shows on her website:

A More Conscious Conversation

We don’t know about you, but we’ve had enough of the fluff.
Enough of the kind of topics that only skim the surface of who we are as women.
We want to go deeper.
We want to talk about topics and issues that support and inspire us.
We want to have conversations that make a difference – in our own lives and in the lives of other women. Everywhere.
We want to get involved, and we want to evolve.
We want a more conscious conversation.
So, enough of the fluff. Let’s start talking.

The 5th question Ann asked me:

What needs to be said bigger, louder, stronger? 

My Answer: “In Heal My Voice, we are calling out to every woman to share her VOICE. It means being vulnerable. It takes courage and we are doing this together. Every time a woman shares her story, her journey, the things that she has hidden because of trauma, shame, grief or loss, she gives another woman permission to do the same. Marianne Williamson said this in 1997 in her book, Return to Love, and it is still true. If I take a risk, be vulnerable and share my VOICE, it creates a pathway for you to share yours. YOUR VOICE MATTERS!”

How would you answer this question? What do you think needs to be said bigger, louder, stronger?

To read all 5 Questions and Answers, Click Here: WomanTalk LIVE

Andrea Hylen is the Founder of Heal My Voice, a global community of Empowered voices. The mission is to empower women to heal a story in their lives, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership at the dinner table, in their communities and in the world. Working with everyday extraordinary women, projects in 2013 include Voices of Peace, Voices of Love, and Voices of Feminine Leadership. Current pilot projects include working with women with the experience of prison: letter circles and opportunities to write their stories. Andrea is a speaker on Collaboration as a Business Model, Empowerment and Grief Transformation and the author of four books. She lives in Santa Monica, California where she can be found regularly dancing on the beach.

Take a moment to listen to the song. The words say it all.

Shine on Sisters.

We are One Woman.
You cry and I hear you.
We are One Woman.
You hurt and I hurt, too
We are One Woman.
Your hopes are mine and WE shall shine.

And One Man He Hears Her Voice…

http://youtu.be/ldyvIcVR9JI

This message arrived in my inbox:

every challenge comes with the solution hidden inside.

When God puts obstacles on your way, you are meant to grow by overcoming them. Look for the seed of the solution at the very heart of the challenge.”

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Good to know because I see a few obstacles right now. Curious as to how I am going to overcome them.
 

How about you? Any challenges or obstacles? Share them with us and let’s see what keys we can find together.

One of the most challenging things for me in the last year has been staying with the unfoldment of the Divine Feminine in my life and in the Heal My Voice programs. I like a plan and deadlines and forward movement and the rapids in the river where everything is moving. Even though to be in the rapids ALL the time can cause adrenal failure!

For the last year, I have questioned this “waiting, waiting, waiting…” It feels like I have an idea or I want the start date to be something I think and then it is delayed and shifts. How do I run an organization and have a program without a firm start date and deadlines? How do I continue to live in this fluid way?

Back in 2008, I was still living my life with the three year wall calendar, appts, work, vacations, homeschool curriculum all laid out. Although there was flexibility and change in the schedule, there was a lot of predictability. Things happened if they were on the calendar.

Since January 2009, the fluidity, the uncertainty has been increasing until, here we are. Today is the beginning of the next Heal My Voice project. Voices of Feminine Leadership. A deeper conversation about what is emerging, about what we are noticing, about how we can step into greater leadership in our lives.

With the women who have signed up for Voices of Feminine Leadership, we begin today with a webex event and a conversation: Exploring Feminine Leadership. I wonder if in this next year, I will learn to trust that everything unfolds in Divine Order. Trusting the the Divine Feminine and Divine Masculine are dancing together in my life in Harmony and Balance.  How will that change my life?

Yesterday I saw a few posts from authors and speakers who postponed the release of a book, the launch of a product, the start of a new workshop because they felt guided to change something and there was a sudden flow of newness.

Is this the new way of living? Will we ever return to the scheduling of the past?

Post your thoughts, feelings and experiences in the comments section and let’s begin a deeper exploration together.

For information on Voices of Feminine Leadership: Click Here

Day 21 of 100 Days of Blogging 

GUEST BLOGGER FRIDAY!

Sanctuary by Tammy Vitale

A sanctuary is a place of refuge or  safety.  Do you have one?

As the world speeds up, and all of our “time-saving” devices simply require us to do more (because we have so much “free” time), it is good to consider creating a sanctuary for ourselves – a place we can go when we need to remember to breathe.

Having a sanctuary is a reminder that you are safe.  And you are.  No matter what outlandish dream you are following or what magnificent creation is being born through you, you are safe – so remind yourself of that by a rock or stone beside your computer, a spirit doll (How to Make a Spirit Doll ) or Taliswoman (see below) on your wall.  And a candle or three to light when it gets dark ( http://tammyvitale.com/no-cost-retreat/ )

You can create a personal ritual that makes any space a sanctuary limited only by your imagination: as small as a single birthday candle lit and blown out  (breathe in your dreams, breathe out your intention and blow out the candle), or a full altar in a quiet place in your room, home, balcony, or yard where you can go to recenter.

My first sanctuary was imaginary – a place in the giant redwoods, which, when I used them for a sanctuary, I had never seen.  In my mind I would sit amidst a giant forest.  I could only see my back and I was always naked and sitting cross-legged on the ground.  I could hear wind in the trees, and some bird song and feel the earth under me – cool, strong, calm.  whenever I felt overwhelmed I could get there on the in-breath and stay as long as I needed to come back into myself.

Sanctuary can be physical.  About two years ago, I created a Garden Goddess to watch over my sacred space.  It took me forever to figure out how to make her but once I got the concept it was so easy I couldn’t believe it took so long!  I added prayer flags and started a potted garden. 

The Goddess called other art to herself and pretty soon I had a sanctuary, without even thinking about it! (Video link for “Goddess called other art to herself” :  http://youtu.be/thRj-H9jRzQ )  It has Garden Maidens, Forever Flowers and totems, and provides a wonderful space for gatherings of my friends in the short spaces between winter and mosquitoes.

But you don’t need yard space to create your sanctuary.

You can also create sanctuary through focused attention or creative action. 

 Here’s an example of focused attention:

Fill a glass of water and hold it.  Put your intention on the glass of water and say three times, “Everything I have taken from others, I put into this water.”  Then take the water outside and pour it onto the Earth, knowing that everyone stands on the Earth and all things will be returned via the Earth.

Then re-fill the glass and put your intention to the water again.  This time repeat three times, “Everything that has been taken from me I now reclaim.”  Then drink it.  (creator of this lovely practice: Eleanor “Energy” Hammond.  You can find her on Facebook).

And an example of creative action:

When you go away somewhere, anywhere, for any amount of time, make it a habit to pick up interesting bits and pieces of “stuff” that fall into your path.

 At the beach for an hour?  Drift word, shells, rocks, twigs, sand.  Walking in the trees?  Pinecones, acorns, felled branches and twigs.  Your kitchen?  The used up wire scrub (see the mermaid on the right: 3 Taliswoman by Conni James), a bent fork, a piece of that blue glass cup that just broke, beads from that old necklace you never wear anymore.  Get the idea?  Become a collector of amazing things – be present wherever you are and look with the eye of a creator getting ready to birth a Taliswoman (be careful, after a while *everything* looks good).

Create a box to store your treasures until you are ready to take an hour or two to play with your creation.

The faces can be made from pictures cut out from magazines and pasted onto cardboard, from polymer clay or from actual clay (these two pieces use fired clay faces from my collection which I make available during workshops or retreats.)  

Any one of the Goop brand glues or hot glue is  good for putting these together and keeping them together – be warned that the smell of that glue bothers some folks. Ideas for other things to collect:  scraps of material, buttons, lace and trim, dried flowers, feathers, brooches, pins, old medals, ephemera that represents your hobbies and passions (i.e. ,if you’re an artist: an old paintbrush.  Dentist?  Tooth brush, tooth picks, old dental tools).

This should be leisurely and unhurried.  You should have time to try out different patterns with texture and color before you decide finally how your Taliswoman is going together.  Consider this time sacred.  Consider your creation a doorway opening onto secrets that you want to know.

When she’s done sit her beside your computer or on your kitchen window sill.  Whenever you see her, take a breath and create a space for her to whisper possibilities to you!

How do you create a sanctuary  for yourself?  Share your ideas here!

Tammy Vitale  (http://tammyvitale.com/about/ ) works with women who are ready to claim their Hell Yes!! life  ( http://tammyvitale.com/hellyes/ ) through Kick Start programs (http://tammyvitale.com/work-with-me/let-me-walk-beside-you-follow-your-heart-mentoring-program/ ),  Master Mind gatherings (http://tammyvitale.com/work-with-me/master-mind-check-in/ ) , retreats and one-on-one coaching (http://tammyvitale.com/work-with-me/one-on-one-intensive-coaching/ )  for women and small for- and non-profit businesses. She also teaches workshops in making sacred spaces (http://tammyvitale.com/work-with-me/creativity-classes-tools-to-your-wylde-self/ ).

Website:  http://www.TammyVitale.com
email: info@TammyVitale.com.  Tammy is currently writing an ebook on Mini-retreats…personal powerups that you can do a little or no cost and without waiting for a workshop or weekend (although those are nice too). 

Day 19 of 100 Days of Blogging

(Part 4 of 5 Questions)

A few months ago, I had the opportunity to answer 5 provocative questions asked by Ann Quasman host of WomanTalk Live Radio Show. 

The description of Ann’s radio shows on her website:

A More Conscious Conversation

We don’t know about you, but we’ve had enough of the fluff.
Enough of the kind of topics that only skim the surface of who we are as women.
We want to go deeper.
We want to talk about topics and issues that support and inspire us.
We want to have conversations that make a difference – in our own lives and in the lives of other women. Everywhere.
We want to get involved, and we want to evolve.
We want a more conscious conversation.
So, enough of the fluff. Let’s start talking.

Ann Quasman: What’s the conversation women need to be having collectively? 

Andrea Hylen: “How we can support and encourage each other. More and more women are saying this out loud. How can I support YOU? Let’s all acknowledge that sometimes when we see a woman who we think is smarter, prettier, and more successful, we feel less than. Let’s ALL take responsibility for the less than feelings we have and heal them together. Let’s shine a light on each other. Celebrate our unique gifts. There is room for ALL of our VOICES in the world. It is time for more cooperation and cocreation.

I BELIEVE in YOUR Brilliance. No more holding back.”

To read all 5 Questions and Answers, Click Here: WomanTalk LIVE

Andrea Hylen is the Founder of Heal My Voice, a global community of Empowered voices. The mission is to empower women to heal a story in their lives, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership at the dinner table, in their communities and in the world. Working with everyday extraordinary women, projects in 2013 include Voices of Peace, Voices of Love, and Voices of Feminine Leadership. Current pilot projects include working with women with the experience of prison: letter circles and opportunities to write their stories. Andrea is a speaker on Collaboration as a Business Model, Empowerment and Grief Transformation and the author of four books. She lives in Santa Monica, California where she can be found regularly dancing on the beach.

Day 12 of 100 Days of Blogging

A few months ago, I had the opportunity to answer 5 provocative questions asked by Ann Quasman host of WomanTalk Live Radio Show. 

The description of Ann’s radio shows on her website:

A More Conscious Conversation

We don’t know about you, but we’ve had enough of the fluff.
Enough of the kind of topics that only skim the surface of who we are as women.
We want to go deeper.
We want to talk about topics and issues that support and inspire us.
We want to have conversations that make a difference – in our own lives and in the lives of other women. Everywhere.
We want to get involved, and we want to evolve.
We want a more conscious conversation.
So, enough of the fluff. Let’s start talking.

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What part of you have you yet to give voice to? 

Sexuality and sensuality. It was something I explored in the late 70’s and early 80’s when I worked at the Women’s Health Concerns Committee and Planned Parenthood. At that time, I discovered a powerful book: Our Bodies, Ourselves.  In addition to breast self-exam, we taught pelvic self-exam with a plastic speculum, mirror and flashlight. Body awareness. Body sensation. I want to talk about the power we have tied up in sexuality. There is a hidden super power in our sexuality that supports the expression of our creativity and our voice. I am ready to give voice to this conversation.

How would you answer this question? What part you have you yet to give voice to?

To read all 5 Questions and Answers, Click Here: WomanTalk LIVE

Andrea Hylen is the Founder of Heal My Voice, a global community of Empowered voices. The mission is to empower women to heal a story in their lives, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership at the dinner table, in their communities and in the world. Working with everyday extraordinary women, projects in 2013 include Voices of Peace, Voices of Love, and Voices of Feminine Leadership. Current pilot projects include working with women with the experience of prison: letter circles and opportunities to write their stories. Andrea is a speaker on Collaboration as a Business Model, Empowerment and Grief Transformation and the author of four books. She lives in Santa Monica, California where she can be found regularly dancing on the beach.

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