Tag Archives: Conscious Choices

Living in Flow: What Turns You On?

Day 49 of 100 days of Blogging

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Yesterday, I wrote about “Being Used Well by God.”

To hear the guidance from God, one of the keys for me is being in touch with what turns me on. It is a feeling. Other words and questions for the feeling are: What lights you up? Passion, excitement. What gets your attention? Where do you feel connected? When do you feel alive? When do you feel a sensation in your body that connects you to an idea, a passion and guidance to follow God inspiring you?

 

 

 

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Recently, here are things I noticed that Turn ME ON:

Writing

Nature

Dialoguing

Human connection

Animal connection

Inspiration and Passion

Living in Flow

Learning new things

Learning new things about old things.

Feeling Everything

Feeling other people feeling

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Community Gatherings

Sharing resources and time

A man’s full attention on my body.

Creativity and artistry in the world

Witnessing another person’s passion

Heart centered. Real Authentic moments.

Vulnerability and the connection to Power

 

 

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How about you? What turns you on?

 

 

 

 

 

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Andrea Hylen believes in the power of our voice to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership. Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.

She is following her intuition as she collaborates with women and men in organizations and travels around the world speaking, teaching and leading workshops. Her passion is authentically living life and supporting others in doing the same. To connect with Andrea and learn about current projects go to: www.andreahylen.com and www.healmyvoice.org.

Free Your Mind: Going Down the Rabbit Hole

Day 42 of 100 days of Blogging
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“Going down the rabbit hole in physics terms is how far are you willing to discover your true nature. Example would be, Why are we here? what is the meaning of life? How did we get here? Did we evolve? Were we once part of another world?” ~Wiki Answers

A few years ago, my teenage daughter and I went to 45 Jonas Brothers concerts. 24,000 miles of driving all over the United States and Canada in 11 weeks. When we started the trip, I had enough money for three concerts. I had no idea how we were going to make it to all 45 concerts. We just held the intention and the vision and resources showed up. It was hard to explain to people why we were doing this especially when it was hard.

I knew in my heart and soul that something was compelling me to free my mind, to open to new ideas and possibilities and carve a new path. I used that feeling to tune into my intuition, to access ideas based on experience and to open to new ideas. My daughter and I drove in silence for hours every day and sometimes through the night. In the silence, I tuned into deeper listening.

Resources and people appeared. A friend offered us her home when we were in Denver even though she was in Hawaii. A friend of hers left a key under the front doormat. We stayed with a friend’s relatives in Idaho. We were invited to dinner in Portland, Oregon by Jonas Brother’s lovers who had been reading my daughter’s blog. We were interviewed by several newspaper reporters who found us on-line. The back up band’s bus driver gave us his hotel room at the Hyatt and the Marriott and the Hotel W. Jordin Sparks drummer, Michael Bedard, and I had a random conversation outside the venue one night. An hour long talk about, The Alchemist. He got tickets for us that night. We were hired by a toy company to film JB fans playing with a toy called Bop-it! New ideas. New possibilities every day.

I learned a lot about living in flow that summer. I stayed connected to the music we were listening to in each concert:

Jordin Sparks singing One Step at a Time.“Take one step at a time.”

The Jonas Brothers, Fly with Me. “Now, the past is gone. To give all I can. To believe once again.”

That summer tour opened up even more of my desire to live from inspiration and to create a new life based on what my heart really wanted.  We all have so much old conditioning and societal expectations that are deeply ingrained in our minds and bodies. The idea of changing the expected pattern is frightening. It means people won’t like you. Or they will think you are weird. They will shun you from the pack where we no longer feel like we belong.
There are layers of this in Maslow’s chart of self-actualization. We want to belong. And belonging has a certain look to it. My own experience has been a dance of autonomy and following my heart and then finding my way back to try to find some sense of belonging to my original tribe and to the communities of friends. I feel like I have lived my whole life in this place of going down the rabbit hole and disconnecting or living an underground life from my family. Finding like minded people and having experiences then finding a place where I am confident enough in this new experience to reconnect.
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“Morpheus: I’m trying to free your mind, Neo. But I can only show you the door. You’re the one that has to walk through it.” ~The Matrix
It takes courage to go down the rabbit hole. You would think it would get easier because the people I am closest to would see that I am the same person when I return. Especially because many times they embrace the experience, too. I have influenced new ideas and ways to live life.
But, here’s the truth. The rabbit hole gets deeper. My desires are bigger. Authenticity is primary. Things that bring my heart joy do push the discomfort button for many people. The reward and the reason I do it is the freedom to finally be me. Again and again.
I am still learning to find places to nourish myself when I am in the depths of going into the rabbit hole. I am still learning to come up with a few words and sentences to soothe the fears of my loved ones while I am disappearing for awhile. I am still learning to love myself when I am in the midst of the new.
The only way through it is to dive in and experience the thing that calls to me so deeply. The next rabbit hole.
To the adventure!

 

“Seek not to change the world, but choose to change your mind about the world.” ~The Course in Miracles.

 

 

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Photo from Andrea Hylen

Andrea Hylen at Agape in Los Angeles

Andrea Hylen believes in the power of our voice to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership. Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.

She is following her intuition as she collaborates with women and men in organizations and travels around the world speaking, teaching and leading workshops. Her passion is authentically living life and supporting others in doing the same. To connect with Andrea and learn about current projects go to: www.andreahylen.com and www.healmyvoice.org.

Acknowledging Your Feelings

Day 35 of 100 days of Blogging

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In this moment, I feel sad. I noticed it when I was walking back from the Metro tonight. It is kind of interesting because I had a good day. The weather in DC was gorgeous. I had two meetings that went well. I put over 10,000 steps on my Fitbit.

So, instead of brushing away the feeling of sadness, I gave it some space. I went into my bedroom, sat still and just felt it. I avoided the thoughts of food, a movie on Netflix, or pushing it away by putting on some happy music and dancing. I pulled into myself for a bit. Spent time in silence. Circling gently around in my mind to ask myself what triggered this feeling? What opened the door to it?

I went through a list of who and what is in my life in the present. Areas of my life including work, play, health, wealth, creativity, personal practices, my daughters, friends, family. After an hour of reflecting and reviewing, I saw the moment when in a conversation, someone unknowingly revealed something. On the metro, I had been playing it in my mind and I could feel that I was disappointed and discouraged. I felt I was working with someone at a Level 5 and saw that their awareness was more of a Level 2 and there was no way to make something happen any faster than it can happen.

I made a course correction and I felt better. I could see a few areas where I am putting a lot of attention and it is steering me off course. I sent two texts. Moved a few things around and let go.

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I turned on Spotify and danced for 30 minutes. Happy, uplifting songs that felt good. I gave the sadness attention and it was ready to move.

All of the feelings and emotions we have are clues. Every feeling has value. If you can slow down enough to really feel it, you will get an answer as to what it is here to tell you.

At the root of all of it is Desire. The layers of feelings are pointing us to Desire. Something that is ready to emerge now.

Ask yourself questions and wait for the answers to show up in the form of clues and signs.

 

*What do you want to create?

*What do you want to expand into?

*What experience are you longing for?

*What cells in your body are waking up for a new expression now?

 

If inspired, share some of your ideas in the comment section. I would LOVE to hear what is emerging for you.

 

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Andrea Hylen believes in the power of our voice to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership. Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.

She is following her intuition as she collaborates with women and men in organizations and travels around the world speaking, teaching and leading workshops. Her passion is authentically living life and supporting others in doing the same. To connect with Andrea and learn about current projects go to: www.andreahylen.com and www.healmyvoice.org.

Building Community: Learning from the Masculine and Feminine

Day 17 of 100 days of blogging

Screen Shot 2015-10-17 at 10.13.45 AMA few weeks ago, a female friend invited me to a group called The New Masculine Community. When I first saw the words, I wondered why she was inviting me to a men’s group. I am a woman and I work mainly with women in my organization, Heal My Voice.

The description in the group:

This group is for education, discussion and debate. It originally was formed to support a men’s program by Zat Baraka, Ken Blackman and Robert Kandell called the Razor’s Edge that was run in Winter 2015.

Please note:
Masculine does not necessarily mean man.
Feminine does not necessarily mean woman.

This page is for ALL genders and ALL sexual orientations to discuss the topics of masculine and feminine nature in today’s ever-changing world. To help breakdown the bullshit conventions that run us, which haven’t worked in a very long time.

We are a community of people who want to learn more about how we tick and how others. We are here to share ideas and concepts. You might not like everything that you read. However, we hope that it influences you enough to notice your programming.

Having spent the last three years in what appears to be a female-centric practice (Orgasmic Meditation) and being committed to living in community and practicing with men, I decided to hang out in the group and read some of the comments. (I also really admire and appreciate the work of Ken Blackman and Robert Kandell who originally started the group and I know there is a team of women and men monitoring the posts.)

This week, one of the women in the group posted an article about Bradley Cooper (an actor) supporting Jennifer Lawrence (an actress) in her article about the Hollywood Pay Gap. Cooper has been teaming up with female stars to negotiate salaries before film production starts. “I don’t know where it’s changing otherwise but that’s something that I could do,” Cooper said.

http://nytlive.nytimes.com/womenintheworld/2015/10/15/bradley-cooper-is-on-board-with-jennifer-lawrences-takedown-of-the-hollywood-pay-gap/

I feel like that is the point. If we see something in the world that is wrong, we can do our part. Do something. Support someone. Teach a woman or man how to negotiate a salary. Look around and see where you can offer your unique talents and skills. It begins with each of us making that choice individually.

I made a choice in my life 30 years ago to live in community where every person is supported and encouraged to be the fullest expression of who they really are. (By community, I mean finding like minded people who wanted to do the same thing. We all lived in our own family homes all over the city)

Screen Shot 2015-10-17 at 9.54.13 AMWe were all committed to heal the wounds of what we were taught are the roles of feminine and masculine. I made a choice to look at my own actions and behavior first, decide where I needed changes. I left a marriage because in that verbal and sexual abusive environment, I was not being the role model I came to be for my two little girls. I made the choice to leave and start unraveling generations of patterning about submissive women.

When I first read the article, I wrote the first comment and highlighted words Cooper spoke about seeing a problem and doing his part to make it right. He isn’t trying to change the whole world by  himself, just making a change where he had power. I invite you to let go of the amount of money they are making. That is a distraction from the bigger picture. This is an example of “In my world, I can change this.”

After the death of our son and my own life threatening illness my 2nd husband and I decided to homeschool our children to provide an environment where they had more self-expression and freedom to be themselves. We connected with 1000 families in the Baltimore~DC area. Pooled resources, offered our unique talents and skills, daily interaction and field trips. Stroked out the best of each kid. Male or female. Gave them the freedom to find out who they are. Then, it was up to each child to make their own choices. We laid the foundation.

Screen Shot 2015-10-17 at 10.16.20 AMInstead of talking about a bunch of theory about what is the new masculine and what is feminine leadership, how about each of us taking a look at where we can support someone to be the best they can be instead of using humor or criticism to diminish them. Ask yourself, how can I be the best version of a man? How can I be the best version of a woman? How can I integrate masculine and feminine characteristics of creativity, intuition, action, strength into my life? Feel. Think. Open your eyes and look around.

The commitment to your own growth doesn’t end until you die. I imagine that every person reading this blogpost has a desire, a longing for better communication with others and deep down wants to peel away the facade of who you thought you were supposed to be. And underneath, there is another part of you that wants to be seen and felt and heard.

You don’t have to do everything. Do something. Do your part.

We are all in this together.

 

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11221663_10206695548965486_4428285337577975775_oAndrea Hylen believes in the power of our voice to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership.  Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.

She is following her intuition as she collaborates with women and men in organizations and travels around the world speaking, teaching and leading workshops. Her passion is authentically living life and supporting others in doing the same. To connect with Andrea and learn about current projects go to: www.andreahylen.com and www.healmyvoice.org.

100 days of blogging: Oct 1, 2015 – Jan 8, 2016

Screen Shot 2015-09-13 at 8.44.03 PMDay 1 of 100 days of blogging

(October 1, 2015 – January 8, 2016)

There is something really powerful about committing to a time period of writing. Daily writing activates something in our brains that helps us to access deeper emotions, thoughts, truths and feelings. Writing helps us wake up to new layers of expression and understanding. Writing primes the pump, encourages growth and action and stimulates new ideas.

Writing can be in the form of typing on a computer, writing with fancy pens and journals or jotting notes on scraps of paper. Writing helps us to focus and digest; to bring our words into form.

We write to be witnessed. Write to share our process. Write to inspire. And the most important: Always, always, always, begin by writing for the discovery of YOU!

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Last month, I felt an impulse, an inspiration to commit to an immersion in writing. Although I have been a journal writer since I was a teenager, I noticed a pattern that has emerged since I began to write publicly eight years ago. There is something potent about this time period: Oct 1, 2015 – January 8, 2016. I have primed the pump many times in the fall/winter. And out of the commitment has emerged new birth.

cropped-816.jpgIn 2007, the idea for the book Conscious Choices: An Evolutionary Woman’s Guide to Life was birthed during this time period and my writing voice was shared publicly for the first time.

In 2009, I sold my house and prepared to move to California which birthed a year of writing and deeper connection to hear my own voice.

In 2010, I developed and hosted 44 Blogtalk radio shows on Grief Transformation which birthed the organization Heal My Voice.

In 2013, I signed up for a course on Sexuality and I became a grandmother which birthed a fuller, richer experience of desire and connection to my soul.

As I look at all of the ideas that are bubbling to the surface for writing, I am excited and nervous. It takes a level of focus and commitment and a willingness to feel everything. Fear and excitement are interchangeable. What will I discover about myself in this exploration? What will I discover about you? Wisdom, Blessings, Transformation. Next steps…

I encourage you to write and explore with me. Share your comments and links to your blogs. And who knows what we will see on the other side. I know whatever it is will be rich!

To the adventure!

 

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Andrea Hylen believes in the power of our voice to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership.  Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.

She is following her intuition as she collaborates with women and men in organizations and travels around the world speaking, teaching and leading workshops. Her passion is authentically living life and supporting others in doing the same. To connect with Andrea and learn about current projects go to: www.andreahylen.com and www.healmyvoice.org.

A Miracle and An Opportunity to Shift My Perspective

Originally written on Sept 4, 2013
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Day 90 of 100 days of blogging


Realize that today you and I have been given the greatest gift of life and that is choice. We get to choose how we will be with what’s happening. We get to choose whether we will grow. We get to choose whether we will give. ~Mary Morrissey

 

A few months ago I met a man at a community party at my house. A potluck with dance music and conversation. From the minute I met him, something went zing in my solar plexus. Heightened sensation in my whole body. Although our lifestyles and interests were very different, there was something pulling me towards him. After an initial conversation, I was curious about the wide range of feelings I was having and I noticed by his body language and how he hovered around me all night that he must be feeling something similar. Curious…

A week later, I had a chance to spend more time with him talking one on one over coffee in my kitchen and what I noticed was how much he…alright, I am just going to say it…how much he pissed me off. Seriously…he annoyed and angered and frustrated me over and over. I was also intrigued by his confidence, arrogance and clarity about what he liked and didn’t like in life as if it was the Truth and everyone else was wrong if they felt or thought something different.

So, what was going on? 

“Every situation, properly perceived, becomes an opportunity to heal.” ~ A Course in Miracles

Instead of writing him off or ignoring him, I decided to text and ask if he would meet me for a walk on the beach. After a short walk, we sat down and moved our light conversation into deeper sharing.  I asked him a few questions and listened, really listened to his words and felt his energy. In less than ten minutes, I had the beginning of an AHA that would continue to deepen over the next few weeks. I thanked him for his time and drove home to process the feelings by myself.

I could see how he embodied so many aspects of men from my past. While I listened to him, I saw glimpses of the first guy I had sex with in high school and felt the pain of disconnection and rejection. I saw elements of both of my husband’s and my father where I experienced emotional abandonment. I saw a glimpse of a business partner from last year and the secrecy he kept that I could not break through for deeper connection and collaboration. I saw the guy I fell head over heels in love with in college (or was it lust?), only to find out that he was using me to try to make an ex-girlfriend jealous. All of these men were a part of something unresolved in my past and connected to something that was my old story about issues, subtle and overt, that had kept me disconnected and fearful of men.

In that short conversation, I also saw an opportunity to heal. As he spoke, I could see a difference in our perceptions and the way we were processing information and feelings. I saw how I could use this experience to empower myself with forgiveness and love and acceptance and understanding. It wasn’t about him. It was about me and the power to shift my perception.

After that beach walk, I made a commitment to a practice of healing. Every night for two weeks, I lay in bed returning to the conversation with the man on the beach. I would recall a moment in our conversation and ask my higher guidance to show how I could transmute and alchemize the feelings. Every night a different man from my past emerged in my thoughts. I allowed myself to feel all of the feelings connected with the man and then to bring in love. First I felt the sadness, the anger, the hurt, the jealousy, saw the old patterning and felt my desire to be loved and seen.

I imagined a golden light entering the top of my head. Warm and dripping like honey, bright, expansive. I received it into every cell of my body including my heart. Soaking it in like a sponge and then I radiated it out to the man who was present in my thoughts. I brought in love and thanked him for being in my life, for teaching me something about myself, for giving me the opportunity to connect to my personal power and my voice.

I felt myself connected to the men at different ages and I radiated the love back to myself.

Sometimes I used the Ho’oponopono Hawaiian prayer:

“I’m sorry
Please forgive me.
I love you.
Thank you.”

I repeated it over and over and over until I felt my body completely relax and I felt the love pouring into and out of me with each breath.

I immersed myself in this healing and have returned to it whenever guided. Now, every day I see men who are gentle, caring, strong, connected, wise, vulnerable, funny, giving, receiving and I know that the inner work I was doing at night is now attracting a different type of man into my life. 

I am grateful for all of the feelings stirred up by the man on the beach. I see him as a gift. A wise teacher who appeared at the time I needed to connect and reflect; at the time I needed to see the old wounding that was holding me back and at a time when he could show up in this role. 

I send him love and deep gratitude…

and I thank myself for having the courage to show up and do the deep work. To see this practice and experience the power to shift perception.

It is a miracle.

 

 

IMG_1306Andrea Hylen believes in the power of a woman’s voice to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, a Writing and Transition Coach, Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and co- author of Conscious Choices: An Evolutionary Woman’s Guide to Life. Andrea has discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to celebrate life after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. She currently lives in Los Angeles following the inspiration to collaborate with women in organizations and to travel around the world speaking and leading workshops. Her passion is connecting women to support each other in the full expression of who they are.

I Am What I Am…the Journey of Life

Day 88 of 100 days of bloggingI feel like I just got kicked in the stomach. My youngest daughter called and left a message on my phone. Her car was parked on the street in front of her apartment and was rear ended by a hit and run driver last night. She is in college in California and living on her own. Her car insurance has a $1,000 deductible. Hard to tell what the damage is and if it is worth fixing.This is a mess!

For the last week, I have been working on the East Coast. Developing leadership in Heal My Voice. Listening to the words of women. Editing stories. Attending a baby shower for my oldest daughter. Leaping to the next level…

At this moment:

*I feel discouraged. Defeated. One step forward and two steps back.
*I feel like I am a bad mother.
*I feel I should be in California living with my daughter instead of living on my own and traveling back and forth to the East Coast to work with women at the Chrysalis House.
*I feel like my priorities are messed up and I should be more available to my adult daughters.
*I feel that I should have…

Actually… this is bullshit.

The truth is:

*My daughter wasn’t in the car and she is safe.
*She has a bike to ride to school.
*She has the money to get the car fixed, if she chooses to do that.

*I believe in the power of my daughter to figure this out.
*I believe in the power and strength of my daughter to learn and grow from this experience.
*I believe that she will survive and thrive and bloom.
*I believe that I am exactly where I am supposed to be doing the work that I feel called to do.

*I do not want to live my daughter’s life for her.

There is always an old story I can tell myself about all of the choices I have made in my life and here is the truth:

*I have no regrets that I home schooled my children instead of building a career.
*I have no regrets that I started Heal My Voice and have devoted my life to a mission of empowering women to heal and lead.
*I have no regrets that I divorced my first husband and gave up the security of his income.
*I have no regrets about the choices…

I AM WHAT I AM…

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