Category Archives: Conscious Choices: An Evolutionary Woman’s Guide to Life

I Am What I Am…the Journey of Life

Day 88 of 100 days of bloggingI feel like I just got kicked in the stomach. My youngest daughter called and left a message on my phone. Her car was parked on the street in front of her apartment and was rear ended by a hit and run driver last night. She is in college in California and living on her own. Her car insurance has a $1,000 deductible. Hard to tell what the damage is and if it is worth fixing.This is a mess!

For the last week, I have been working on the East Coast. Developing leadership in Heal My Voice. Listening to the words of women. Editing stories. Attending a baby shower for my oldest daughter. Leaping to the next level…

At this moment:

*I feel discouraged. Defeated. One step forward and two steps back.
*I feel like I am a bad mother.
*I feel I should be in California living with my daughter instead of living on my own and traveling back and forth to the East Coast to work with women at the Chrysalis House.
*I feel like my priorities are messed up and I should be more available to my adult daughters.
*I feel that I should have…

Actually… this is bullshit.

The truth is:

*My daughter wasn’t in the car and she is safe.
*She has a bike to ride to school.
*She has the money to get the car fixed, if she chooses to do that.

*I believe in the power of my daughter to figure this out.
*I believe in the power and strength of my daughter to learn and grow from this experience.
*I believe that she will survive and thrive and bloom.
*I believe that I am exactly where I am supposed to be doing the work that I feel called to do.

*I do not want to live my daughter’s life for her.

There is always an old story I can tell myself about all of the choices I have made in my life and here is the truth:

*I have no regrets that I home schooled my children instead of building a career.
*I have no regrets that I started Heal My Voice and have devoted my life to a mission of empowering women to heal and lead.
*I have no regrets that I divorced my first husband and gave up the security of his income.
*I have no regrets about the choices…


Heal My Voice: The birth of a non-profit organization

Heal My Voice emerged out of a book project with Evolutionary Women in 2008. The book, “Conscious Choices: An Evolutionary Woman’s Guide to Life” was a compilation of the voices of 44 women who wrote a personal story about their lives.
Creating the non-profit organization, Heal My Voice was the next step. It was created as a way to collaborate with women in organizations to heal a story in their lives while building a strong community around the project. Heal My Voice is the space holder for collaborative containers  of creativity, support, healing, and sharing leadership.

“A woman’s voice is the seat of her power and her compassion. A woman’s word can heal or destroy; it can be a balm and a ballast, or it can be a source of divisiveness and destruction. A woman’s voice is the seat of her power not only to choose her own destiny but also to manifest it. A woman’s voice is a woman’s choice.” -Yogi Bhajan…

As each woman heals a story in her life, she can take the next step into leadership in her family, community and the world. We are committed to creating tribes of leaders who can all fully express who they are and their unique gifts.

Our mission is to: Empower women and girls to heal grief, loss, and trauma, and reclaim their inner authority, so they can develop and use their leadership skills in their homes, communities, and the world, by developing collaborative projects that encourage leadership, community building, and the reclaiming of each woman’s voice.
Join us in our mission to help each woman discover her voice.

For more information, go to

Day 98- On the Road: A Journey of Creativity Part 2

Monday, April 19, 2010

A Journey of Creativity Part 2

There is a Buddhist Proverb: When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.

The teacher signifies a readiness. It could be a teacher, a book, a class, a resource, a job or a next step. The step you have been preparing for has arrived. And many times it is a SURPRISE!

At an Evolutionary Women’s Retreat, in October 2007, there were conversations about expressing our creativity and the wisdom that was percolating all over the retreat center that weekend. On Sunday morning, Karen Porter, one of my friends who was also attending the retreat, stood up and shared an inspiration that came to her in the shower that morning.

We should all write a book together. The name of the book would be, “An Evolutionary Woman’s Guide to Life.” I felt a deep Yes! in my heart as soon as she said the words.

In the next minute, the woman behind her stood up. She said,  “I am a publisher who will publish your book.”  One year later we had a published book! Christine Kloser became the mentor and publisher.

Before I share some of the details that emerged as we wrote the book, I want to tell you a little bit about Christine Kloser. She is a phenomenal resource. Her company is called Love Your Life Publishing, Inc.

Lynne Klippel is the managing partner in the company. The combination of their energy nurtures, inspires, and creates a supportive structure for a book to be birthed. If you feel that you have a book that wants to be birthed or have a story to write, I have included a few links to their programs.

This is a link to the home study program: Get Your Book Done Now

In addition: Christine and Lynne have a group book project starting now. Here is a FREE tele-class about the book project: Align, Expand, Succeed. The call is on April 21, 2010 3pm Eastern time. There will be a recording of the call, but you must sign up to receive the link.

Below, I have listed several steps to begin the writing of a book and some of the specifics of our process.

Step 1: Create a title for your book

Step 2: Go to bookstores to look at book cover pictures and back covers. Writing the back cover for your book can bring a clarity to the purpose of your book. A book front cover can be an inspired vision in front of you. Look for other books that are similar to yours to see what is on the market and what has been successful.

Step 3: Create a structure to invite authors and a structure for support. If you are writing a book by yourself use a program like Christine’s or find a writer’s group and book buddies who can be there to support you.

Here are some of the specific details that were formed with our book:

~ We formed a core group of Bonnie Kelley, Lucky Sweeny, Karen Porter and myself. The ideas was to generate ideas and hold the energetic structure for the book. The core group was the container that held the book as the writers and ideas emerged.

~Book title- Conscious Choices: An Evolutionary Woman’s Guide to Life

-Book cover was already a picture on our website and the graphic designer presented different lettering designs for us to choose.

 ~250 women who had attended Evolutionary Women Retreats were invited to submit a personal 1500 word story that wanted to emerge from them to share.

Over a period of several months, 44 women became the authors in the book.

~The idea of a sacred jar of stories emerged as a place to hold the intention of the stories. Story ideas were submitted to me. I printed the e-mail from the author, rolled it into a scroll, tied it with a ribbon and said a prayer for the author to bring forth the deepest expression of herself to share in the inspired story. It was the intention that this story would reach each person who needed to read it.

~ Sage Knight and Karen Porter, two of the 44 women authors, held a space for women to call on the phone every Tues night for three months. We used a free conference calling line. The women were responsible for their own phone charges. Some had unlimited long distance so the call was free to them. Women shared the journey of writing. They shared the joys, the frustrations, the tears, the celebrations, the doubts and received the encouragement to share their voices.

~ A group of women agreed to be gentle readers to give feedback. Some of them were authors and some were women who attended the retreats but were not writing a story in the book. The guidelines were to answer three questions.

          1) What do you like about the story?
          2) What is unclear?
          3) Any ideas or suggestions?

~The authors then had a chance to receive the feedback, reflect, re-write or not and return the story for the final editing. We also decided that the pure expression of each woman’s voice was more important than grammar and literary significance. It was the emotion and the energy of the words.

~Judith Watson stepped forward and offered to do all of the final editing of the book.

~ We also had a few women who helped mentor individual authors, one word at a time, to write their story.

~Christine Kloser wrote the back cover of the book, after the book was published. We had an original intention and we also decided to see what emerged before writing a back cover.

Here are two pictures with some of the authors.

East Coast Retreat. Bon Secours Spiritual Center August 2008.

West Coast Retreat: La Casa de Maria, Santa Barbara, CA December 2008


~ One Tip about the back cover. If you are writing a story or a book, it is good to know the essence of what you are writing. What is the message? Why would someone want to read your book? Answering those questions is a personal growth experience on its own. Writing the back cover in advance can bring you clarity around your message and answer your “why” for writing the book. This can help you to write with a focus of your message.

Next week I will write about things I learned when I wrote my personal story for Conscious Choices: An Evolutionary Woman’s Guide to Life. I will share my experience and a few examples of other authors in the book.

Please write in the comments section to share with each other. Your own ideas and stirrings. If you have questions for me, go to: Type in questions and I will answer them there.

If you haven’t voted for me in the Next Top Spiritual Author contest, you can go to this link to register on the site,  view the video and vote. Thanks!

Day 10: On the Road: The Blind Side and the Gift of Service

January 21, 2010

I saw a movie today called, “The Blindside.” The storyline features Michael Oher, an offensive lineman who plays for the Baltimore Ravens of the NFL. It is about Michael’s life. From foster homes to an opportunity to go to a Christian school to living with the Touhy’s, a wealthy family from the school, we get an insight into the challenges he overcame. There was a point in his life when he needed a 2.5 to get a NCAA Division I Scholarship. Michael got a 2.52 grade point average with hard work and a team of people providing support including the Touhy’s, teachers from his school and a private tutor.

This film was recommended by many of my friends from Baltimore as a great inspirational film. And it is a great, inspirational film. That would have been enough, but there is more for me than the connection to the Ravens, Baltimore and inspiration. It is a connection to a theme that has been bubbling inside of me for the last year. It is the theme of the giver and the receiver.

I grew up in a family that served the community and the world. Giving to neighbors, volunteering through Girl Scouts, donating money to nature preserves and UNICEF. There is a long list of organizations and activities that were a part of my childhood. As an adult and with my children that legacy of helping people, wanting to make a difference has continued. Stream clean-ups, adopting families at Christmas, delivering food to friends in need. My older daughters, Liz and Mary both have careers that involve serving communities of children, women and men and animals and the planet.

I can’t imagine a life without giving and helping. But the new theme that has crossed my path in the last few months is how the person in need has served the giver.

Yesterday when I watched The Blind Side film, the mother in the family talked about how the true gift for her was the opportunity to serve Michael. It was Michael Oher who had impacted her life.

The idea that has been coming to me is that instead of feeling sorry for a person or situation, see them as a guardian angel that has been sent to you as a teacher. They are here to provide an opportunity to help you find purpose, creativity, meaning, love, happiness and compassion. They are here to help YOU!

I have been watching people and reflecting on my life this year. I have watched friends prepare food for a homeless shelter. Yes, it fed the people at the shelter and was a wonderful gift of money and time. Yes, the people at the shelter were hungry and needed help. I do not mean to minimize their pain. What I also saw was how the experience created a light in the faces of my friends. A light that wasn’t there before they served the meal.

I saw a friend connect with a deeper part of herself this year by becoming the caretaker for a man she met at the shelter. I saw her confidence increase and her heart expand as she learned how to give medicine and take blood and take him to the hospital and sit in the waiting room while he had surgery. This was something she had never been able to do for family and friends. She didn’t feel she was capable of it. This man provided her with an opportunity to serve him with love and compassion and it has expanded her as a person.

In my own experience, I had a son who was born with a congenital heart defect. Through his birth, 19 months of operations and physical therapy, and his death, he taught me about who I truly am. I learned to love like I had never loved before. I am still discovering new things about myself because of his service to me. He died 17 years ago and I honor him as one of my greatest teachers and guides.

I encourage you to find a place to volunteer that speaks to your soul and your heart. Appreciate the person and the situation and step into it. This is one of the reasons you are here. There are people who need help and I guarantee that helping them will make your life richer.

In the book, Conscious Choices: An Evolutionary Women’s Guide to Life, Ginny Robertson wrote a story called, “Answering the Call: Making a Difference While Doing What’s Right for You.” She encourages people to find something that you are passionate about and to provide your uniqueness. That will serve the person and it will serve your soul.

I encourage you to find the cause that stirs your soul. When you give from a place of deep connection to the cause and follow the calling it feeds your soul, and it feeds the world.

WEEK 1- Tools for Dreaming, Open to Inspiration: Step 1- Listen to your Heart

This is a follow-up blog to my first USTREAM show: Open to Inspiration. It is a written list of the ideas and the tools I presented with a few more details.

The first step is Listen to Your Heart. On the first show, I am encouraging you to create an environment to dream and listen to your heart. Your heart is filled with thoughts, desires, longing, ideas, wishes and dreams. This month, we are spending time visioning, dreaming and listening. If you have done this before, inspire yourself to dream again and again. Expand on your dreams. Allow the ideas to flow and take you to your highest good.

You are on an adventure with yourSelf! And this is forever. Dreams continue to evolve and grow along with you.

To stimulate the environment of dreaming, get some magazines. You can buy them or find people who are finished with old magazines (friends, neighbors, Dr’s office) You can borrow them from the library for daydreaming (no cutting the library magazines!) Find pictures and words on the internet. Scrap booking stickers are great, too. Sometimes you can find stickers with pages of inspiring words.

Look for articles, pictures and words that are interesting to you or make you feel good. You may even have a physical response to some of the things in the magazine. Curiosity, familiarity, joy, excitement, wonderment. Sometimes I find that my heart will do a flip flop or the palms of hands will start tingling when I find something I feel a connection. Observe any reactions you have to things in the magazines.

You are collecting data about yourself. Some of this will feel like it is from your mind. Always check back in to see how your heart is reacting.

With the magazines, you can do a series of activities.

1. Treasure maps/Vision or dream boards. Use a piece of poster board, scrap booking paper or even a page in a journal. Pick out things you want to vision. Several of the things on my vision board for 2010 are:

A) a picture of a cat with the words Good House. I am looking for a home for my cats or learning how to live on the road with them. I love them. They stir my heart. The care of them is a focus for me.

B) A picture of a woman exercising with Yoga. It reminds me to take care of my physical body.

C) A picture of the Jonas Brothers with the words “expressing your heart ‘n soul.” They inspire me to be creative and stay connected to my heart. I feel a connection to their music.

D) I also have the words Discover, Doing+good and Oh, yes I can!

2. Vision or dream journals. A friend of mine, Karen Porter inspired me to put my vision board into my journal. Her idea is to buy composition books, cover the front cover with pictures from magazines, cut out words and place them at the top of each page of the journal.

This journal can have a specific purpose like a travel journal, ideas for a project or a business or a place to record daily activities, dreams, quotes, and ideas.

This year I am using mine to record things every day. It will have ticket stubs, brochures, quotes, to-do-lists. It will include happy and sad moments. I will work through things in my journal to like the next steps on my move to California or my relationship with my family.

By placing words and pictures at the top of the all of the pages, I am surprised each time I turn the page to see a message for me on that day. I love how the words and pictures connect with what is going on in my life.

3. 12 month intuitive reading for the year. Another friend, Jayne Howard Feldman inspired me to do a 12 month reading journal. I cut pictures and words out of a magazine and put them into a bag. I closed my eyes and thought about January 2010 and pulled out a few of the clippings. Then, I used a glue stick to attach them to a page in a spiral notebook. I left 8 pages empty to record things during the month. Then, I created a page for February, March, April, and so on. It is another way to dream and vision what I want.

4. Building a dream in your journal Make a commitment to yourself to spend 15 minutes a day for one week and write the life you want to create or expand on. In 1991, I wrote the life I wanted to create including a description of my family, children, activities and house that would be big enough to gather communities of people. In 1998, I bought that house. By the time my husband and I found the house, we already had most of the rest of the dream. The community of people I had buildt relationships with for 7 years were already there. When I wrote the dream, it came from a heart’s desire, pure and full of love. I didn’t think that owning the house or having these things would make people love me more. There was nothing in it that was ego driven. There was a deep calling to live that life. And I did.

Rev Michael Bernard Beckwith, the minister at Agape International Spiritual Center in Los Angeles, California, posted this on his Facebook Status the other day. “I am inviting you to be still and discover new territory in your own soul. You will find that this new territory will be the answer to every issue you may be facing. Peace!”

And I am inviting you to take the time to explore, dream and discover.

Next USTREAM show is Saturday, Jan 9 8pm EST.

A New Journey begins

A new journey is beginning.

My daughter, Hannah and I are leaving Baltimore in 11 days. Our car will be loaded with clothes, books, and music. All of our furniture has been sold. The cats will have found a new home. Everything we own is in a small storage unit.

We are leaving the community that has been my home since 1981. Our intention is to live on the road for a year. We will explore the world by living in hostels and with friends. First destination is Scottsdale, Arizona and celebrating the holidays with my daughter,Liz, her boyfriend, Ari and their two dogs.

My intention is to continue to write about all of the things that happen and to share this through video blogging, Ustream TV and on this blog. I have changed the name of this blog to Daydreaming with God. I am co-creating this journey with Hannah and with inspired action from within.

I moved to Baltimore in Oct 1981, after marrying my college sweetheart. Getting married seemed like the next logical step in our relationship. We had been dating for four years. My love of Bill and the dreams of creating a life together brought us here to Baltimore. We created two beautiful girls together but our marriage and all of our dreams together came to an end in 1987.

My true community in Baltimore, the one that held me, nurtured me and gave me a space to develop my voice began at an Insight Seminar in March 1989. I met a few friends, Susan, Kater, Terry and Hurley (my future husband). They became the cornerstone of my life. My community has grown to hundreds of people in the last 20 years. With them all, I discovered myself. They were mirrors of love, understanding and acceptance.

I have lived a full life here with a 2nd marriage, the birth and death of my son, the birth of Hannah, a life threatening illness, community based learning (home schooling), peace ceremonies, book groups about spirituality and creativity and the death of my husband.

In the last 20 years, we laughed and cried together. We loved and fought with each other. We sang and danced and celebrated our lives.

The people in my community were the witnesses of my life.

In 11 days, I am leaving the safety and comfort of my home and community to go out into the world and explore life in a new way. I am Daydreaming with God, Opening to Inspiration, and Living a Life Worth Celebrating.

Come along for the ride…

Concert 18- Boston, Massachusetts Chance Encounters

Thank you to Second Look Books our blog sponsor today:

Second Look Books
168 South Street
Plainville, MA. 02762

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July 17, 2009

Concert 18- Boston, Massachusetts


This morning I drove to Plainsville, Massachusetts to meet a woman named Sue, the owner of a bookstore called Second Look Books. Sue is a friend of one of my Facebook friends, Christina Labonte Groves.

I met Christina on Facebook this past winter. I think a Course in Miracles brought us together. We were both in a Facebook group that shared inspirational messages. She uploaded a picture of herself in the snow. It was such a beautiful angelic picture, I wrote a comment and we began communicating more on Facebook. She is one of my group Favorites.

When Christina saw that I was traveling all around the United States going to Jonas Brothers concerts, she looked up the schedule, saw when they would be in Boston and sent me a message on Facebook. She offered me a place to stay.

I had a place to stay already, but I was in the process of looking for a bookstore to have a discussion with my book Conscious Choices: An Evolutionary Woman’s Guide to Life. I thanked her for the invitation and then I asked if she knew of a bookstore or coffee shop where I could offer a book discussion. Within 24 hours, she had several ideas and talked with Sue and it was scheduled.

I drove to the store today to meet Sue in person, bring a few books and talk about the book group on Saturday. I was sad that Christina was working and unable to attend the book group. She was also working today. It was an amazing surprise when I arrived at the store and Christina was there. Her 11am appt was cancelled! We met and hugged and felt the connection that was started on Facebook.

The next “chance encounter” happened in Rosemont, Illinois last week. I was standing in line at the ticket booth waiting to pick up tickets and still looking for one ticket for the show that night. I was talking with a woman who was in line behind me. When I mentioned the goal of going to 45 concerts this summer, her daughter told me she had watched some of my daughter’s videos.
The conversation continued. They were from Boston. Susan has a travel business and had flown in with one daughter for the show. Her other daughter had broken her ankle in a freak softball accident at home plate and was not able to make the flight. We were talking about the Boston concerts. I told her that yes, we were coming and no, we did not have tickets yet. She had a friend who had two tickets to sell! She made a phone call and voila! the tickets were mine.

I met up with Susan and her daughters, Haleigh and Emilie in the train station below the Garden. I waited with them to take the handicapped elevator upstairs to the garden. Emilie is in a wheelchair while her ankle mends. Hannah received an unexpected meet and greet with the Jonas Brothers so she got her ticket and was off to stand in line.

I know that Susan could have handled the wheelchair and all of the details on her own. I also know that having an extra set of hands from me was good for her. We ended up on the third floor in a handicapped section with a huge dance floor area.

Isn’t it fascinating that we were in line in Chicago, she became my connection for tickets, her daughter was in a wheelchair and I was able to help her? Pretty cool, huh?

Susan and I danced and had so much fun together at the concert. One of the best concerts.

I love these synchronistic connections. Have you had any lately?

Concert 8-Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada

Thank you to my sponsor for today’s blog.

Authors’s Note. I added a description of the Passport journey and a few things about worrying vs trusting life to this blog. As we finish packing up and cleaning our house, I am tweaking some of the drafts that were never published. We go to settlement on our house on Nov 16th and then hopefully a week in Europe before heading to California in the middle of Dec. When we know the details we will share the specifics.

This was the 8th concert of the summer and the second concert in beautiful Vancouver. The day after this concert was Canada Day.

Concert 8- Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
June 30, 2009

Vancouver is beautiful. Everyone who has visited here or seen pictures says how beautiful Vancouver is and it is true! Lush green forests. Mountains that rise from deep blue bodies of water. Nature is woven into the tapestry of the community.

Hannah and I are staying with one of the Conscious Choices authors, Laura Mack and her husband Andrew. Laura wrote a story in the CC book called, “Finding my voice and finding my community.” Laura is the embodiment of community. (I first met her when she was in Baltimore for a convention and stayed an extra four days to attend the first east coast Evolutionary Women Retreat.)

Laura and I started the day with coffee and then an hour walk from her home to the village of Deep Cove. She told me that the weather we were having was the perfect summer weather in Vancouver. Sun, light breeze, low 80’s. We walked through neighborhoods that led us to a dense forest with a paved path. The sunlight occasionally peaked through the trees to warm our faces. At the bottom of the hill, we found the cove. A brief hello to their boat, The Lovable, stopping to breathe in the beauty and then back up the hill. It was a walk that made me think I would have a very tight gluteous maximus if I could do this hour long walk everyday.

When Laura and I arrived back at the house, Hannah and I tried to connect to the wireless system. They had just switched to a new internet provider and for some reason, neither Hannah nor I could connect. Our plan B gave us an opportunity to drive into the little village in the opposite direction of the cove. We spent an hour at a lovely coffee shop called Bean Around the World. Good coffee. Delicious apple, poppy seed muffins. Big, round, wooden tables.

We drove to General Motors Place, the Vancouver arena and walked around talking with people. It was another quiet day. It felt like a weekend even though it was Tuesday. The next day was Canada Day, a day of independence and a big holiday, like our 4th of July. Across the street from the arena, I found a bench to sit on and I reflected on the challenges we had overcome to be here in Canada.

One of the things was the expired passport. Here is the story of the passport. As you know, the month before leaving on this trip, we cleared our entire home. On our third day on the road and the day before our first concert of the summer in Dallas. I woke up early to organize the blog, update my website, start a fan page and respond to a long list of phone calls and e-mails to people in Baltimore. I checked our next few stops and looked at the passports.

Long pause… Mouth open… Eyes wide… Breathing stopped…

In one hand is my passport. All is well.

In my other hand is Hannah’s passport with bold, red letters CANCELLED.

We brought the wrong passport. We were scheduled to cross the border to Vancouver, on June 29, ten days from then. No one else had a key to the storage unit at home in Baltimore. And even if they did, where would I tell them to begin to look for it? The storage unit was packed to the ceiling. For all I knew, it was recycled with the trash.

This summer I was planning on weaving book talks with authors from a book I co-authored called, “Conscious Choices: An Evolutionary Woman’s Guide to Life.” Even if we skipped the Jonas Brothers concerts, I wanted to visit and spend time with Laura.

After a trip to a local passport center in Dallas, a phone call to the US Government and a series of pushing buttons on the automated reservation line, Hannah and I had an appt in Aurora, CO on June 23 10:30am. This required leaving the Jonas concert in Tulsa, OK about 15 minutes early and driving through the night to arrive in Denver by 10:15 am to check in.

Hannah and I drove through the night to get the passport. We arrived 30 minutes early. Everything went smoothly at the office. It was challenging to drive, yes. But, Hannah stepped up to the plate and drove for 2 hours following the directions I had for her. I had an opportunity to let go and trust her. Early in the morning, when I had taken the wheel and had been driving for hours, I listened to my body and pulled over to sleep for 45 minutes in the parking lot of a Comfort Inn. I saw an amazing pale pink and blue sunrise through the rear view mirror. I heard birds chirping as I sped along the highway. I saw the mountains coming into full view in Denver. I had these experiences because of the missing passport.

The woman who helped us at the passport office was nice and friendly and supportive. Everything happened with ease and grace. I had more than enough information to support the processing of the passport.

As we climbed into the car to drive to Longmont, Colorado, I thought about how much time I had spent worrying about this. I had two nights when I woke up in the middle of the night. I began to think about the worrying. Had the worrying supported this process at all? Did the worrying get us to the passport office on time or did I waste precious time on something I had no control over? All I really could do was show up with the requested paperwork and be in the moment of the Yes or No.

I asked myself, why can’t I just trust life to bring me my highest good?

Yes, I have experienced loss of loved ones and some of my dreams have not come true. I have had my share of disappointments. But, I also have had a pretty amazing, magical life. I have received some strong intuitive thoughts that have led me to jobs, friends, homeschooling my kids, and of course, to the jonas brothers concerts with my daughter.

I ask myself, “Why can’t I trust life to support me? Why must I worry and fear that things will not work out?” None of the worry or fear actually brings me good stuff and it actually takes me out of enjoying the present moment.

I arrived in Longmont, Colorado and realized that I had my friend’s UPS address and not her home address. She is in Hawaii. I called her. She answered her phone and gave me her home address and directions. I easily found the key, entered her lovely home and had a comfortable bed to sleep on for an afternoon nap.

Why am I holding so tightly onto the details of life when I have so much proof that I am supported?

And here I am in Vancouver. A beautiful city. A guest in a home filled with love. Sitting on a bench enjoying the people and the city. Ready to see what will be another amazing, heart centered Jonas Brothers concert.

Today I have money in my pocket. Food in my belly. Time to watch, listen and dance and sing. A place to sleep. Gas in the car. a healthy body. A smart mind.

I ask myself this question:

Do I want to know all of the answers so I can watch the movie of my life or am I here for the ride?

I choose the ride.

The wrong passport

Today’s jonas watch is sponsored by Dramatic Adventure Theatre.


The Peace Sister’s in Baltimore

For sponsorship information go to

Friday, June 19, 2009

I am exhausted today. Yes, I am the type of person who sees the silver lining, the cup half-full, a cock-eyed optimist. But, today, I am ready to climb under the covers and yell, “NO!” at the top of my lungs. If I drank alcohol, this might be a “pull-up-to-the-edge-of-the-bar-and-order-a-stiff-whiskey,” kind of a day.

Let me back up a minute to fill you in on some details.

Last summer, Hannah and I drove 10,000 miles and attended 15 Jonas Brothers concerts. The journey began because I saw that Hannah was happy again. Our first Jonas Brothers concert was a free concert in Philadelphia on July 29, 2007. It was the 2nd anniversary of the death of her father from cancer. After two years of withdrawing from life, I could see that this made her happy again. 8 concerts later, we decided to go on a summer tour in 2008.

When we arrived home in September, I could see that the road trip had helped me let go of my home. By January 2009, Hannah and I were ready to sell our 11 room home on 3 acres. And somewhere in the clearing and the selling of furniture, we decided to travel this summer.

Last year I called it, “The Year I Toured with the Jonas Brothers.” This year it is “Jonas Watch.” We are watching them, as we travel to 45 different concerts. We will be in the town for every concert and go to as many of them, as possible.

I have so much to share with you!

For now, let me tell you about the passport. During the last month, we cleared our entire home. We sold furniture, made at least two trips a week to the Salvation Army, at least one recycling run to the dump per week with a carload of paper, and packed everything else into a 10 by 10 storage unit.

So today, our fourth day on the road, I woke up early to organize the blog, update my website, start a fan page and a long list of phone calls and e-mails to people in Baltimore. I checked our next few stops and looked at the passports.

Long pause. Mouth open. Eyes wide. Breathing stopped.

In one hand is my passport. All is well.

In my other hand is Hannah’s passport with bold, red letters CANCELLED.

We brought the wrong passport. We are crossing the border to Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada on June 29. No one else has a key to the storage unit at home. And even if they did, where would I tell them to begin to look for it? For all I know, it was recycled with the trash.

Weaving into some of the concert cities are book talks with authors from a book I co-authored called, “Conscious Choices: An Evolutionary Woman’s Guide to Life.” Vancouver is where one of the authors lives and we have great plans for our time there!

After a trip to a local passport center in Dallas, a phone call to the US Government and a series of pushing buttons on the automated reservation line, Hannah and I have an appt in Aurora, CO on June 23 10:30am. This requires leaving the Jonas concert in Tulsa, OK about 15 minutes early and driving through the night to arrive in Denver by 10:15 am to check in.

I think it is time for a good nap. I can see I already need it!!