Andrea Hylen

In the Heal My Voice project Harmonic Voices, women are writing a personal story about peace.  One of the women in the project suggested we all write a blog this about people who have inspired us on our peaceful path.

I thought about all of the peacemakers who have inspired me. And as I reflected on them another vision of peace came to me:

The willingness to stand up for something that may not look like peace. It may stir up controversy. It may make people uncomfortable. It may put a VOICE to something no one is saying out loud.

Gloria Steinem is a Peacemaker and a Feminist.

When researching more about Gloria Steinem, I discovered that after graduating Phi Beta Kappa from Smith College in 1956, she spent two years in India. She wrote for Indian publications, and was influenced by Gandhian activism.

The influence of Gandhian activism was a thread throughout the women’s movement. No acts of violence. Using words. Writing. Speaking. Vulnerable. Powerful. Standing up!

Was there anger? Yes. When a human being is suppressed from the full expression of who they are, there is anger. It can be stuffed down and turn in to depression or anger can be a powerful igniter of passion and forward movement.

I am a peacemaker and there have been times in my life when anger has moved me to express. When I feel or see injustice or suppression, there is a fire that begins to burn and rumble from deep inside. The burning bypasses the “nice girl, don’t make waves” part of me.

My Voice must be heard!

Gloria Steinem isn’t stuck in the nice girl. She has expanded the women’s movement to celebrate non-violent conflict resolution, the cultures of indigenous peoples, and organization across socioeconomic boundaries.

She writes and speaks and opens doors for us to have conversations, take action and the conversations cultivate peace inside of each of us. When our voices are shut down, there is no peace.

I thank her for leading the way. Refusing to be silent. Putting a voice to injustice.

I know that it has supported my journey to connect deeply with fuller expression of who I am which has led me to experience more inner peace.

I am grateful for the voice of Gloria Steinem in the world and I thank her.

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If you want to learn more about Gloria, I have added a list of some of the organizations and projects she founded and participated in over the last 40 years:

In 1972, she co-founded Ms. magazine, and remained one of its editors for fifteen years.

In 1968, she had helped to found New York magazine, where she was a political columnist and wrote feature articles. She has produced a documentary on child abuse for HBO, a feature film about the death penalty for Lifetime

She helped to found the Women’s Action Alliance, a pioneering national information center that specialized in nonsexist, multiracial children’s education.

She also co-founded the Women’s Media Center in 2004. She was also co-founder and serves on the board of Choice USA, a national organization that supports young pro-choice leadership and works to preserve comprehensive sex education in schools.

She was the founding president of the Ms. Foundation for Women, a national multi-racial, multi-issue fund that supports grassroots projects to empower women and girls, and also a founder of its Take Our Daughters to Work Day, a first national day devoted to girls that has now become an institution here and in other countries.

She was a member of the Beyond Racism Initiative, a three-year effort on the part of activists and experts from South Africa, Brazil and the United States to compare the racial patterns of those three countries and to learn cross-nationally.

Now, she is working with the Sophia Smith Collection at Smith College on a project to document the grassroots origins of the U.S. women’s movement.

Parenting magazine selected her for its Lifetime Achievement Award in 1995 for her work in promoting girls’ self-esteem, and Biography magazine listed her as one of the 25 most influential women in America.

 In 1993, she was inducted into the National Women’s Hall of Fame in Seneca Falls, New York.

In 1993, her concern with child abuse led her to co-produce and narrate an Emmy Award winning TV documentary for HBO, “Multiple Personalities: The Search for Deadly Memories.” With Rosilyn Heller, she also co-produced an original 1993 TV movie for Lifetime, “Better Off Dead,” which examined the parallel forces that both oppose abortion and support the death penalty.

Transition between old and new is always meet with an Initiation, some ground shaking, others mild yet always life altering.  “As we prepare to enter a new realm we must pass through the gateway of transformation; and are usually greeted with tests. There is no initiation without tests, and this testing must take us to our limits in order to be “valid”.

Initiation is not just about enchanting rituals with candles or other mystical paraphernalia. Magic happens when you decree with Faith your Heart’s pure desire. True initiation is grounded in material reality. Its effect expands throughout mind, body and emotions. Sometimes we scream with frustration “why am I going through this again?”  This is because the test occurs on ALL levels of mind, body and emotions. The more profound the change being processed the more rigorous the test.

As we pass through the initiation we are strengthened by the process itself. Spiritual alchemy at its best reveals the true gold that lies within. This is the process of transformation that sheds the effluvia (energetic debris) accumulated (in our physical, emotional, mental & energetic bodies) over lifetimes.

We’re so conditioned to believe the process of purification is challenging and painful. This mindset has created a society that hands over its Power to outer circumstances. Our experience is relative to how much we resist letting go of the old-self. We cling to part of our-self and our life even when all evidence shows its not working for us anymore. Feeling sadness or grief when meet with a new cycle of life being experienced as death, is truly our choice.  Giving our unauthentic self an honorable death is a sacred rite of passage and necessary to birth a new experience. This seems to be the speed-bump we trip over crossing the threshold of transformation.  When meet with Love the illusion of loss melts as a child consoled by a loving parent’s embrace and All Is Well. 

You emerge a new creation; infused with Pure Universal energy flowing to, through, in and around you that ignites Your Magnetic Power on every level. Peace is restored. Joy returns. Love heals.

The gateways are always before us, it s our choice to step across the threshold to a new way of being.

On some level, through our own unique expression of life, we are all being called by the gateway of transformation.  We are being asked to emerge to a greater responsibility of being Peace, Love and Wisdom in our world; even if that world extends only to our immediate family its effects are felt throughout the universe.

Asking, “where in life am I standing at the gateway of transformation?” is the first small step toward your next quantum leap. Step boldly across the gateway with faith, trusting you are not alone! “Lo, I AM with you always, even until the end of time!”  Yeshua

I decree for me, you and every child of Light on this planet! 

“As I create a new world within me, the world around me changes to reflect the beautiful transformation inside. I walk through the Gateway of Transformation knowing that I AM safely held by the arms of Love. I approach each initiation as an adventure, loving every step of my experience. I invite all of my guides to assist me as I take each step with courage.  I AM safe and always going in the right direction. I emerge each time a new being growing closer to the potential of my Awesomeness! All is Well.  It is So, And so it is!”

My life has evolved around women. My mother ran the household. I have a sister who I shared a room with during most of my childhood. I have worked for organizations like Planned Parenthood, Women’s Health Concerns Committee, ran Girl Scout troops, organized women circles and started Heal My Voice, an organization committed to empowering women.

I have a father who traveled for work during the week and played golf on the weekend. I have one brother who is seven years younger than me.  I married two men who worked a lot and then spent their free time in isolation working on projects in the yard or workshop.

Until I moved into a community house, I had very little time just hanging out in the presence of men. My current research is observing and interacting with the men I live with and the wide variety of men who come over to hang out, come to community parties and work on projects.

I am not in a romantic relationship with any of them. We live and play together in community and we do share feelings and intimacies. We are connecting.

There are two important things that have been happening for me. I am embracing the opportunity to observe and witness them individually and collectively and to receive support and words that are healing some deep wounds in me from past relationships with men.

Words of support:

(For those of you who have had solid support from a man, you may not understand the healing and the impact of the words below. But, for those of you have not felt fully supported here are a few conversations. )

Night before moving in:

Jason: “Sorry to text late. What assistance do you need for move in tomorrow? “
My inner thoughts: (Assistance? Why would I need assistance? I can move everything myself. I already packed the car and I can move everything in myself.)
Me: “I don’t need any support. Thanks anyway.”

(Day we were moving in)

Jason:  Are you going to sleep in the house tonight?
Me: I have a phone call at 6am that requires internet. I can’t move in until the internet is installed.
Jason: (stops, puts down a box, picks up cell phone and makes a phone call. “Let’s get it hooked up now. I can go over to the place to get the equipment in 15 minutes. I will get it connected tonight or tomorrow at the latest” 
My inner thoughts: (Wondering what species of man this is and why he is helping me so much. Taking charge and being so nice!)

Week 2 of living in the house

Damian: Where are you going?
Me: I am taking the bus over to Santa Monica
Damian: I can drive you. When do you want to go?
Me: In five minutes. Are you going out? Are you going in that direction?
Damian: Not leaving yet, but I can drive you whenever you are ready.

(Damian at Costco posing for photo I was sending to Andreas. Decision making about chairs for house.)

A month later. Day of community party. Jason was in the kitchen cooking for the party.

Me: I think things are too busy and there isn’t going to be time for you to help me. It’s okay. Maybe tomorrow.
Jason (looks me in the eye): I will make time for you right now. (Turns over the cooking for the party to someone else. Tells a guest that we will be back in 15 minutes. Stops everything and helps me!)

I have been on the road for a business trip for over two weeks. It is three days until OMX conference in San Francisco. We are all attending.

Andreas: We have a place for you to stay at the conference. Just show up
Me: Thanks for caring for me and remembering what I needed.
Andreas: You got it lady!

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I was in the grocery store and the clerk asked me, “How are you today?”

ME:  “FABULOUS!”

CLERK: “Wow! Did something happen?”

ME: “Yes! I woke up this morning. I am alive.

And everything else that happens is a bonus.

CLERK: “I like that”

ME: “How are you?”

CLERK: “I guess I’m Fabulous, too!”

I feel that way about life. There are surprises that I sometimes label as good or bad, but the real answer is I am FABULOUS! I am ALIVE!

Today is a brand new day.

A friend of mine, Susan Gardener, is a Peace Minister and Be Peace facilitator. She posted a link to this song yesterday. A singer-songwriter Mandisa wrote this song with Tobymac because she wanted a song that would get her going in the morning. A song that would help her get up and start life as a brand new day.

Some of the words (and the link to the video below):

Wake up, wake up!

It’s a good morning, wake up to a brand new day.

I can feel the pulse that is rising up in me.

I’m just living in this moment.

Good Morning! 

Good Morning Song Click Here to Listen

My question to you:

What part of you is waking up TODAY?

Post in the comments and let us know!

I came across words that I wrote almost three years ago that connect with the energy of this month. I have been talking about finding balance with connection and disconnection, engaging and disengaging, speaking and listening, doing and being. Be in the rhythm of flow. And then today I found words I wrote that show the dance of this in my own life. I share that reflection here. What is your dance with balance?

Words from a journal:

October 29, 2010

Things are changing. As I talk with people about healing grief, adapting to losses and disappointments there is one thing we all agree on. Things are changing so fast it feels like there isn’t time to catch our breath. More than any other time of my lifetime, the waves of change are relentless.

I have to remember to dance with the waves. I have to find ways to stay connected to the deepest parts of myself. So, when the waves of life appear, I remember who I am and what is important to me.

It has been 23 days since I was at the beach How did that happen? My intention is to carve out a few hours once a week to recharge my battery. Sometimes I write in a journal or take a walk or do Tai Chi. Sometimes I ask questions and sometimes I just listen.

In the last 23 days, I let time slip away. I let myself get swept up into the details of life. I forgot to breathe. I forgot how much I need it. I forgot that the reason I rented a mailbox at the beach was so I would have to go to the beach and take the time I need.

Today, I drove 30 minutes to the beach. I picked up the mail that was overflowing from the mailbox. When I arrived at the beach for a 1 hour walk, I could feel myself relax, surrender, let go. I said hello to the ocean, the seagulls and the sand. I breathed in the stillness that was present in the water. I stood still looking at the beauty of the clouds and feeling the awe.

Connecting with nature is no longer a luxury. It anchors me to the earth as I feel the It feeds my soul.
I must remember.

(The thing that has changed in three years is that now I live less than 2 miles from the beach.)

On a Voices of Peace call with the Heal My Voice community of women, I was reminded of how some of the deepest, core wounds can appear during the writing process. A real life situation in the present can bring us back to the feelings of shame, or sadness or loss from a childhood experience.

A simple interaction with a co-worker, a sibling, a spouse, an auto mechanic, or a clerk in the grocery store can reactivate a memory or a feeling from the past that opens a wound.  All of these are clues.

I am writing several stories right now that tap back into feelings and memories from the past. I feel raw and vulnerable and sensitive. The people, places, thoughts that are crossing my path are the unhealed wounds. They are the clues to connecting with more peace in my soul.

For me, the deepest writing comes when I allow myself to feel the feelings of the past and find the breadcrumbs of wisdom and life experience that have emerged. It is the way I remember how each experience of pain and joy has created an exquisite tapestry of my life.

A reminder today: Be gentle with yourSelf and others. The memories and the feelings are here to help you heal. Allow yourSelf to feel it all…

One summer a “pretend library” set up in the house with frequent trips to the Summer Reading Club at the public library and new books to read together. There was art, song, dance, plays and cooking.

 I discovered some words today that I wrote in the fall of 2010. I was living in California and I was in a deep period of questioning, listening, exploring my inner knowing. I share them with you here as I am in that deep inquiry again.

November 2010:

I have an inner guidance system that tells me one thing when words and actions of people around me sometimes tell me something else.

My question to a friend, “Why are you sad?” She says, “I’m not sad.”  Inwardly I feel myself contract in confusion. My thoughts: If you are not sad, why do I feel sadness from you? Why do I see sadness on your face? Why are your eyes filling with tears when I ask the question? As she
continues to deny the sadness, I question my “inner knowing.” The questioning began in childhood when I felt things that other people didn’t feel or didn’t admit that they felt.

Reading the book, The Way of the Wizard by Deepak Chopra, there was a section about the thought we are born with.

This is what I want. I am hungry. I want to be held.  I want my diaper changed.  I want to sleep and so on. During our childhood when we are taught to suppress or deny this natural way of being, the statement becomes a question. 

We question our desire and our inner knowing of what we need, want and desire.

The question becomes: Is it all right if I want this? 

We begin to doubt, fear, and lose the connection to our inner guidance. We are not taught how to navigate the natural response we are born with. As you get older, you can’t really stand in line in the grocery store and start crying loudly to be fed. But, you can learn to acknowledge the need and make a plan to meet your needs. You can honor the connection, the guidance and make a plan. 

In California this year (2010) I have created space to listen to my voice again. I have given my 17 year old daughter the same courtesy. We are individually repairing our inner guidance systems.
Nurturing, exploring, allowing, trusting, loving, waiting, moving into action… A stronger connection and a new relationship with inner guidance. Like an exercise plan for my body, I am making this a priority.

I am listening.

2013 Addendum: I am listening deeply again.

How about you?