Andrea Hylen

Day 11 of 100 Days of Blogging

I am so excited!

My youngest daughter, Hannah and I are both moving into separate living environments. I started moving into a community house with seven adults last week. Hannah is still looking for an apt. By the end of June, the transition will be complete. Yeah! The next evolution in our lives. Hannah is 20 and the last of my children living at home. It is time for us to both take the next step in life. I am so excited for both of us!

This is a good thing, right? Then…why was I sobbing on the front lawn last week, after bringing a load of boxes into the new house?

My car was filled with books, kitchen supplies, clothes and a solid wood bookcase. I had a lot of things to “do” and yet something was compelling me to stop. I felt an impulse to sit on the front lawn. Stop for a minute. Sit down. Take a breath.  Stop pushing to get this done. Feel the feelings. Listen for the next step. Just Stop and Be Still.

I found a spot on the lawn with several small, brown mushrooms in a cluster. Sitting on the ground, I immediately felt a physical shift in my body and in my view of the world. Our yard has a white, metal fence with tall tree-like bushes in the front. The view at eye level now was so different. I could only see the feet of the people walking by. I could see the tires on the cars parked on the street. I could see clover, dirt, grass, ants, the roots of the trees.

My whole body relaxed, as I let go of everything on my to do list. I became aware of feelings I was ignoring. A rumbling began in my chest. My heart expanded and a deep sobbing traveled from my heart to my throat and a release of a cry. Tears started to flow with intakes of breath with each deep sob. The feeling was gratitude. A deep, palpable wave of gratitude for the presence of each of my daughters in my life.

I thought about Mary and how she feels more like a sister. When she was in 8th grade something transitioned in the way we felt about each other. There are still times when we are mother and daughter but most of the time, we both feel like we are sisters.

I thought of Elizabeth who I define as my catalyst. She is like the personal trainer who challenges you to run one more mile, to lift 10 lbs more than you thought you could possibly lift, to really let out who you are. From the moment I first held her in my arms in the hospital, she has seen the brilliance of who I really am and has called me into action with her determination and challenge.

I thought of Hannah who was born two weeks after her brother died. Hannah was the child I held in a rocking chair, breast feeding and grieving. Hannah took naps with me during my two years of being physically ill. Hannah was the focus of homeschooling and trips to Jonas Brothers concerts. Her presence in my life and the things I did “for her” created an opportunity for me to experience more creativity and freedom.

Sitting on the front yard, I sobbed. Heart expanding gratitude and letting go.

I write this as a reminder that even good changes can make you cry. A reminder to stop in the midst of the doing and allowing yourself to feel everything.

Change means letting go of one experience to open your arms to another experience. Change means you are releasing something in order to make room for the new. Change can make you cry. 

Enjoy the adventure and let yourself have a good cry.

 

Day 9 of 100 Days of Blogging

Powerful Video and an opportunity to reflect.

1. What Would You Do If You Weren’t Afraid?

2. How Can We Encourage Leadership in Girls?

Post in the Comments and Let us Hear Your VOICE.

Click here to watch Video

Day 8 of 100 Days of Blogging

In 1970, my grandparents arranged an amazing trip to California for my sister and me. I was 13 years old. My sister, Joanne, was 11. My parents used the trip to motivate us to get all A’s and B’s on our report card and I got a C in one of the subjects. What were my parents going to do? They couldn’t cancel this trip and disappoint their parents! So, I received a “punishment.”

My punishment was to write a report on our trip. Punishment? Are you kidding? It was one of the things that made the trip even better. Collecting postcards, menus, brochures, sugar packets and documenting this trip. I still have most of the scrapbook and the report.

We flew to San Diego and drove up the coast of California to San Francisco. My grandparents lived in San Jose and they connected the trip to a work trip for my grandfather.

My report starts out:

My California Report
Andrea Hylen (age 13)

July 30, 1970: It was a wet and chilly dawn when I awoke from my sleep. Excitement was ringing in the air. I leapt out of bed and threw on the clothes I had put out the night before. Little did I know about the exciting day planned for me! On the plane trip, the stewardess gave us the best of Western Service. I got Jr Stewardess wings and Western is going to send me a diploma of some sort saying that it was my first trip on their airlines. After the ride, Nana and Grampa picked us up at the San Diego Airport. In San Diego, the airport is very close to all the tall buildings and houses so when you land it seems as if you’ll crash or else land on a tall building. I’ll say this much it sure was scary!

(Note:  I wrote about a Harbor cruise and listed lots of facts. I am skipping to the 11th fact and the rest of the evening.)

#11: One of my favorite facts is about Marines. Marines are probably the best men in the service because when I waved to servicemen, Marines were the quickest to wave back. (Note: My Dad was a Marine in the reserves.)

After the Harbor Excursion we went over the San Diego~Coronado Bay Bridge and found the most adorable ice-cream parlor. The name was Tent City and when you went inside it was like you were in a great big tent. Nana and I ordered banana splits but Joanne only had a vanilla milkshake.

As soon as Nana and I had finished making pigs of ourselves we went back to the Motor Inn and waited for Grampa.

For supper we went to a Chicken Pie Shop and the food was delicious. You probably won’t believe it but after that we went up in an inside glass elevator then we crossed to another building by standing on an escalator sidewalk. After we got to the other building, believe it or not, we went up in an outside glass elevator! On the way home, Grampa pointed out some trees with big, shiny leaves. They’re called magnolia trees. All in all it was a good first day.”

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As I read this 25 page “report”, I remembered how much I loved being in California. Everything seemed magical. I was filled with wonder and curiosity. I felt so alive and connected to myself. No wonder I continued to travel back to California as an adult and why I moved here three years ago.

I can also see how this trip was a foundational piece that I would bring into homeschooling many years later. Learning on the road. Going to museums.  Feeling the excitement of a different location. Mixing it up with food and nature and people watching.

And lastly, with my first grandchild on the way, I am reminded of how a grandparent can impact your life with a banana split, a ride in an elevator and a walk in nature.

Day 6 of 100 Days of Blogging
 I was inspired today to read a few pages from Crossing to Avalon: A Woman’s Midlife Quest for the Sacred Feminine by Jean Shinoda Bolen. On the first page there is a quote by Alice Walker.  I don’t remember hearing this quote before even though it is exactly why I founded Heal My Voice!

“Storytelling, you know, has a real function. The process of the storytelling is itself a healing process, partly because you have someone there who is taking the time to tell you a story that has great meaning to them. They’re taking the time to do this because your life could use some help, but they don’t want to come over and just give advice. They want to give it to you in a form that becomes inseparable from your whole self. That’s what stories do. Stories differ from advice in that, once you get them, they become a fabric of your whole soul. That is why they heal you.”

~Alice Walker, in an interview about her work in Common Boundary, 1990

The Heal My Voice Circles…women writing a story to heal something in their lives. In the writing, they read their stories out loud to each other and we are ALL healed from the power of her words. Happens every time. Vulnerable. Powerful.

Day 5 of 100 Days of Blogging

A few months ago, I had the opportunity to answer 5 provocative questions asked by Ann Quasman host of WomanTalk Live Radio Show. 

The description of Ann’s radio shows on her website:

A More Conscious Conversation

We don’t know about you, but we’ve had enough of the fluff.
Enough of the kind of topics that only skim the surface of who we are as women.
We want to go deeper.
We want to talk about topics and issues that support and inspire us.
We want to have conversations that make a difference – in our own lives and in the lives of other women. Everywhere.
We want to get involved, and we want to evolve.
We want a more conscious conversation.
So, enough of the fluff. Let’s start talking.

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The SECOND question Ann asked me:

What are you most conscious of today? 

My Answer:

FEAR and feeling unsafe that is present in ALL women. We fear criticism, humiliation, shame, rape, and violence. When we see a woman criticized, humiliated or hurt physically we shut down. We do not feel safe. We fear it could be our children or ourselves or our “sisters.” Women have stayed hidden, taken fewer risks and been afraid to ask for more. We have hidden our desires, our words, and feared ridicule when we share solutions to the problems around us. Sometimes it is subtle. We are inwardly paralyzed and it affects our Voice and taking action in the world.

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How would you answer this question? What are you most conscious of today?

To read all 5 Questions and Answers, Click Here: WomanTalk LIVE

Here is a podcast from our conversation called The Empowered Voices Movement. WomanTalk Live: Click Here to Listen

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Andrea Hylen is the Founder of Heal My Voice, a global community of Empowered voices. The mission is to empower women to heal a story in their lives, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership at the dinner table, in their communities and in the world. Working with everyday extraordinary women, projects in 2013 include Voices of Peace, Voices of Love, and Voices of Feminine Leadership. Current pilot projects include working with women with the experience of prison: letter circles and opportunities to write their stories. Andrea is a speaker on Collaboration as a Business Model, Empowerment and Grief Transformation and the author of four books. She lives in Venice, California where she can be found regularly dancing on the beach.

Day 4 of 100 Days of Blogging:

I was in NYC waiting in the standing room only line in the hope of trading in my bus ticket and catching an earlier Megabus back to Baltimore. To pass the time, I was watching people board the bus to Boston while keeping my fingers crossed that the gray clouds gathering in the sky would not turn into a thunderstorm.

The crowd of people boarding the Boston-bound bus had dwindled down to three people; a young woman in her 20’s and two Megabus employees all looking in the same direction, as if waiting for something to happen.

As I watched the scenario in front of me, I saw that the woman was asking, motivating and persuading the employees to postpone departing until her friend made it to the bus. The woman was pointing at her phone and then pointing down the street as if to prove that, “She is on her way, arriving any minute, don’t leave without her!”

I found myself swept up in the moment, looking off into the distance, hoping to see a glimpse of the woman, then looking back to make sure the bus did not leave. My body began to tense with anticipation, as I heard the bus driver start the engine of the bus. Like watching the quarterback in a football game throwing the ball and waiting to see if someone would catch it and run to the end zone for a touchdown, I was holding my breath, silently cheering for the moment we would see the woman appear in the crowd.

And there she was! I saw a woman burst through the crowd, carrying a duffel bag and running from a block away. I jumped into the air with excitement, clapping my hands. I saw the woman by the bus pointing and a Megabus employee signaling to the bus driver that one more person was on her way. Breathlessly arriving at the bus, the duffel bag was handed off to an employee, the two women had a quick embrace then boarded the bus.

I was so happy! I had witnessed a moment between two women that had ended in a victory for both of them. I had tears of joy in my eyes, as I felt the power of women supporting each other. Using their voices and standing up for each other. Supporting with love and conviction.

And for a moment, I thought of how it could have been another story, an ending that would have been an ending of a defeat for both.

It could have been a young woman sitting on the inside of the bus fuming because her friend was late. “Oh, she is always late. I hope we leave without her. This will teach her a lesson.” The bus would have driven right past the woman leaving her behind in NYC. I might have seen the woman standing at the side of the road, watching the bus drive by, her shoulders slumped and a duffel bag dropped onto the sidewalk. I might have felt a heaviness in my heart as I watched her, not even aware that there was a woman gloating on the inside of the bus. Being left behind and gloating would have been a defeat for both women.

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I am grateful to say that I see more of the cheering these days. I am grateful to be a part of women’s circles where we are listening to each other, healing our stories together, carving new pathways that give us the experience of women cheering each other on to victory. Inspiring each other to have a VOICE in the world. Reaching our hands out to encourage, support, listen, and celebrate each other into a fuller expression of who we really are.

The time is now! Who are YOU cheering on to Victory? And notice…who is cheering for you?

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Andrea Hylen is the Founder of Heal My Voice. The mission is to empower women to heal a story, reclaim personal power and inner authority and step into greater leadership. For information on current Heal My Voice projects with women supporting each other in the 9-month process of writing, speaking and leadership in an on-line community, go to www.healmyvoice.org

Day 3 of 100 Days of Blogging:

A few weeks ago, I had the opportunity to answer 5 provocative questions asked by Ann Quasman host of WomanTalk Live Radio Show. The description of Ann’s shows on her website:

A More Conscious Conversation

We don’t know about you, but we’ve had enough of the fluff.
Enough of the kind of topics that only skim the surface of who we are as women.
We want to go deeper.
We want to talk about topics and issues that support and inspire us.
We want to have conversations that make a difference – in our own lives and in the lives of other women. Everywhere.
We want to get involved, and we want to evolve.
We want a more conscious conversation.
So, enough of the fluff. Let’s start talking.

The first question Ann asked me:

 What’s the conversation that changed your life?

“When I was 10 years old, a conversation I had with my grandmother. I lived all over the United States growing up. My grandmother lived in California and I only saw her every couple of years. One winter, when we lived in Minnesota, she was visiting and I was home sick with a cold. She told me that I had the power to get well and that I had the power to create anything I wanted in life. I have drawn on her words many times over the years when everything felt hopeless and when everything was sunny.”

How would you answer this question? What is the conversation that changed your Life?

To read all 5 of the Questions and My Answers, Click Here: WomanTalk LIVE

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Andrea Hylen is the Founder of Heal My Voice, a global community of Empowered voices. The mission is to empower women to heal a story in their lives, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership at the dinner table, in their communities and in the world. Working with everyday extraordinary women, projects in 2013 include Voices of Peace, Voices of Love, and Voices of Feminine Leadership. Current pilot projects include working with women with the experience of prison: letter circles and opportunities to write their stories. Andrea is a speaker on Collaboration as a Business Model, Empowerment and Grief Transformation and the author of four books. She lives in Santa Monica, California where she can be found regularly dancing on the beach.

The high school dance teacher announced the focus of the thirty minute demonstration at an evening “teaser” event of song and dance. Nine young women had each choreographed a dance that would be part of a larger event in the next month. We, the audience of parents, relatives and friends, had crowded into Dance Studio 1 for the first half hour dance presentation, a few minutes of each dance.

The first woman’s name was called by the teacher. Moving gracefully onto the dance floor, the choreographer/dancer used her voice to share a few words that inspired her choreography.

The teacher then spoke the word: “Dancers” A group of four young women quickly moved into position on the dance floor waiting for the music to begin. Striking a pose, breathlessly waiting for the music to begin, the women danced the vision with the choreographer weaving one fluid dance move around the floor.

During the next half hour, one by one, each of the women took center stage, claiming her moment of leadership and inspiration. Nine choreographers. Each woman leading and serving each other. Flowing to the music. Committed to the vision. The dances all had a core message from women of inspiration: grandmothers, mothers, girlfriends and women from history books.

The power, collaboration and community of the dance created a palpable energy in the room. In awe of the opportunity to witness the dance I have personally experienced in sacred circles of writing, speaking praying and meditating, I breathed in the rare opportunity to watch the physical.

This is the Power of WE. Dancing our visions with each other to create something greater.

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The dances:

Iter: Road… Journey…Direction
Breaking Tradition
Shattered Mirrors: Redefining Beauty
Power and Strength
Frayed
Bloodline
Facing Tomorrow
Admire to Acquire
The Swan

Community…collaboration…connection…

http://www.healmyvoice.org