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Using Technology for Connection

Posted on December 21, 2015 by Andrea Hylen Leave a comment

Day 82 of 100 days of Blogging

I woke up this morning to an invitation from my 21-year-old nephew, Luke, to become friends on Fitbit. He goes to college in Massachusetts. For the last four days, my 32-year-old daughter, Mary and I have been doing the Daily Challenge on Fibit; challenging each other to walk the 10,000 steps. She lives in New York.

I play Words with Friends with my brother (Pennsylvania), sister (Florida) and a few friends (various states and time zones).

I eat dinner with my daughters (California, Maryland, New York and have Dance Parties with my granddaughter (New York) on Facetime. I Skype with clients in Sweden, Italy and Germany.

I am connected to people all over the world. Technology is amazing!

I know there has been a lot of conversation about how technology creates isolation. I am witnessing the opposite. There are so many places to share our authentic voices, so many secret Facebook groups with deep connection and ways to post our secrets that I am noticing people want more connection and they are reaching out to find it.

I also notice that I have more connection to family and friends who are scattered all over the world. We are expanding into new ways of sharing our lives and connecting through activities.

Who says that just because you are in a room full of people that anyone is truly connected and sharing authentically?

What are you noticing about technology and social media and connection in person and on-line?

Post in the comments and share your voice.

**********

Andrea Hylen believes in the power of our voices to usher in a new world. She is the founder of Heal My Voice, an organization that inspires women and men to heal a story, reclaim personal power and step into greater leadership. Andrea discovered her unique gifts while parenting three daughters and learning to live life fully after the deaths of her brother, son and husband. In addition to serving as Heal My Voice’s Executive Director, Andrea is an Orgasmic Meditation Teacher and Sexuality Coach.

She is following her intuition as she collaborates with women and men in organizations and travels around the world speaking, teaching and leading workshops. Her passion is authentically living life and supporting others in doing the same. To connect with Andrea and learn about current projects go to: www.andreahylen.com and www.healmyvoice.org.

Posted in Connection

Love: Authentic Connection

Posted on December 20, 2015 by Andrea Hylen Leave a comment

Day 81 of 100 days of Blogging

Miracle Message #79: Love can come from any form of authentic connection. #MiracleNow ~Gabrielle Bernstein

A Series of Blog Posts:

Intimacy Research Background:

I wanted to grow and learn. I wanted to heal the wounds from past relationships with men. I wanted connection and intimacy. I wanted a partner who would practice with me. Real feelings. Real connection. Research.

So, I asked him. A man who was in my coaching leadership program. A man who I had a mental, physical, emotional connection with and who I felt could match my level of intensity and desire. I asked him to be in an intimacy research partnership with me for eight months. He said yes immediately.

We set up a Google document. We Face timed. We texted. And once a month, we met in person in San Francisco. He flew in from Germany. I flew from New York. We created an experience.

*****

Month 2 (October 2013 continued):

At the end of the week, we spent one last night together at the Good Hotel. With the words, BE GOOD on the wall #begood. Funny to see that as I am in a process of reclaiming my sexuality. When I saw the words I felt like my mother was in the room with me reminding me to be good!

Axel and I took a walk in the full moon light and I saw the words LOVE on the apartment building across the street. I took a photo.

Him: No. Love always complicates things.

Me: Why does love complicate? I feel love for people all the time. I felt love for the man behind the counter who just checked us into the hotel. He was so present. So full of information and wanting to be helpful. I could feel his heart and I felt love for him in that moment. My heart swelled with love. An authentic connection.

Him: That is not possible.

The night before in the airbnb with 20 of my friends and classmates, someone asked if I am in love with Axel. I said yes, I think I am in love with him. Then, I paused and felt into my heart. No, I am not “in love” with him. I am in love with elements of him that bring out elements of love for me. The love is expanding me to be more of me.

In this moment in the moonlight, I tell him:

I love the way your body feels and the way our bodies feel together.

I love the playful side of you that brings out the playful side in me.

I love your intense enthusiasm that mirrors my own intense enthusiasm.

I love how you connect with strangers on the street and in the hostels that brings out that side in me, too.

I love working side by side with our computers and challenging each other to be powerful.

I love talking about money and how excited we both get.

I love to watch you skateboard. When I see your joy, I want more of that for you. I feel the freedom for both of us in being free to express who we are.

I love…

In the morning we OM before leaving for the airport. It is cold in the room so he shows me the Hamburg wrap. He covers me in blankets so that only my pussy is exposed. All he needs is access to my clitoris. I am wrapped up like a blanket mummy.

Him: I am going to step over you now. (He positions himself in the “nest”)

Safe ports me with, I’m going to touch your thighs with grounding pressure.

Me: Yes. Thank you.

He does the noticing step describing my pussy with neutral language of shape and texture and color.

Him: I notice your left labia touching your right labia. I see a light pink on the edge of the labia. Your clit is hidden under the hood.

I can feel myself getting warm and feeling connected. I can feel my vigilance center lowering. I am relaxing.

Him: I’m going to touch your pussy now.

Me: Yes. Thank you.

He puts gloves on. Dips his index finger and thumb into the beeswax lube.

Him: I am going to touch you now.

Me: Yes

He starts with a slow lube stroke making his way from the introitus to the clitoris. He begins with a light, slow stroke. Barely touching my clitoris. Short strokes. Up, down, up, down. A slow rhythm.

I feel a slow buzz of electricity in my forehead and my thighs. I can feel the welling of tears. One tear slowly falls down my cheek. I let him know I am going to cry.

Him: Thank you.

The sobs begin to shake my chest and rock my chest up and down. I sob out all of the emotion that was in my body from being in Immersion (the coaching leadership program) and sobbing out the sadness of Axel going back to Germany and me going back to Los Angeles and all of the joy and pain of the week. Sobbed out all of the energy that I picked up in the room at Immersion. Sobbed out all of the pain of leaving my children with my husband for two weeks when we divorced twenty-five years ago. I am sobbing the present and the past. I sob about Germany and feel the sadness in the Youtube video we had watched earlier that morning. The sobs begin to slow.

The two minute bell rings.

Axel begins the downstrokes to finish the OM and ground us both.

I take deep breaths and let my tears come to a gentle completion.

The final bell rings.

Him: I am going to apply pressure now. Up or down?

Me: Push up towards my head.

He applies pressure to my pussy with both hands. Grounding all of the emotion and swelling in my pussy.

Axel picks up the washcloth.

Him: I am going to do the towel stroke now.

Me: Thank you.

He does one slow wipe on my pussy removing the lube.

He removes his gloves and helps me sit up.

We share frames.

Him: There was a moment when I felt heat in my chest and a thumping pressure in my heart.

Me: Thank you.

Me: There was a moment when I felt a wave of sadness in my heart and a cracking in my upper back.

Him: Thank you.

We put away the blankets and pillows. I put my pants on. We both pause and look at each other. Moving closer we embrace and hug. I tell him I am so sad that he is going back to Germany. He brushes my hair away from my eyes and says, I know. He kisses me on the forehead. Hugs me tight.

We move towards our suitcases. Finish Packing.

Time to go to the airport.

*****

If you would like to watch an Introduction to OM Video, click on the link. OM is Orgasmic Meditation. https://youtu.be/pYohBt5AVmA

**********

Andrea Hylen at Agape in Los Angeles

Posted in Relationships

Spiritual Growth: Learning through Intimate Relationships

Posted on December 19, 2015 by Andrea Hylen Leave a comment

Day 80 of 100 days of Blogging

Miracle Message #85: Let your intimate relationships be your greatest learning devices for spiritual growth and healing. #MiracleNow ~Gabrielle Bernstein

A Series of Blog Posts:

Intimacy Research Background:

We set up a Google document. We Face timed. We texted. And once a month, we met in person in San Francisco. He flew in from Germany. I flew from New York. We created an experience.

*****

Month 2 (October 2013):

Already in the first 48 hours, I had cried several times and said, “Fuck you, Axel.” His idea of trying to find things to say to me that would emotionally whack me on purpose had reached a boiling point inside of me. He wanted to increase the sensations for our research. I had processed, cried, asked him why he thought he needed to be mean on purpose, was he trying to make me jealous? Wouldn’t there be natural opportunities for that? It felt like bullying to me. As we approached the 48 hour mark and I knew we were going to be sleeping in different locations for the next 4 nights, I left in a fury without saying good-bye or “see you tomorrow”.

I just left.

As I rolled my suitcase down the steep San Francisco hill towards the BART, (the metro system in San Francisco) I was fuming and also feeling relief from the compression between us. I was feeling free again. People may think intimacy research is fun. This was one of the kick ass, button pushing, emotion triggering, different perspective moments that are always a part of human relationship research.

The first 48 hours had many fun moments. We met at the International Flight Arrival Gate at SFO, and made our way to the BART and the private room at the hostel. After OMing, (Orgasmic Mediation), and a nap to try to help him re-calibrate from Central European time zone to West Coast time zone, we ran through the streets of San Francisco exploring and laughing. Running up and down the escalators in Bloomingdale’s like two school kids, looking for the underwear he likes that he can’t get in Germany. Stopping on the street to be videotaped by a few young filmmakers. Discovering a great Thai Restaurant for dinner. Both of us talking non-stop.

It was great until I got triggered and whacked emotionally, one too many times. When I got closer to the BART I stopped on the corner realizing he might not know where his suitcase was in the hostel. I had moved it to the front desk without telling him. I pulled out my phone, called him and told him about the suitcase. He said, “Where are you?”

Me: I left.

Him: You left?!? How could you leave without saying Good-bye? After all we have meant to each other?

Me: I got whacked too many times. I can’t take anymore right now.

Him: Where are you?

I tell him the location of the corner.

Him: Don’t move. I am coming to you right now.

I wait on the corner. Not sure if I want to see him. Feeling a little turned on that he was so upset. It feels like he really cares about me. Beneath his anger, I can feel something else in his voice…vulnerability? tenderness?

I look up the hill and in the fashion of Richard Gere in Pretty Woman when he comes to sweep Julia Roberts off her feet in a limousine, except my version is Axel in converse sneakers on a skateboard, flying down the steep hill. He arrives at the corner with a swift stop. Swoops me into his arms, pulling me close and breathlessly says, “Don’t ever do that again. Don’t leave like that!” He is trembling and out of breath.

His head is buried in my hair and neck. His arms are wrapped around me tightly, not letting go. We hold each other for a few minutes. Breathless. Teary. Exhausted. In this embrace, we begin to talk back and forth slowly, almost whispering our answers. He wants to know what happened. I share my feelings with my face pressed into his hair. My lips brushing his neck as I speak. His hand on the back of my neck holding my face close to his neck. His lips brushing against my hair as he speaks. We are so close. Holding on for dear life. Staying connected.

This is research with real feelings. This is intense.

He says he didn’t know I was so upset. He thought I was expressing my feelings and was okay. We add in more communication tools. Green, yellow, red. Green means all is well. Yellow is I am uncomfortable but willing to stay connected and learn. Red is I am ready for flight, fight, freeze. I am falling apart.

I was in “red.” How do we let each other know that we are in “red” and to stop the teasing, emotional challenging, and back off. How do we learn to recognize it in the moment?

Do check-ins throughout the day. Stop and listen to each other. We also add in “safe porting.” Letting each other know we are going to do something before we do it. Create more safety in the space.

This was painful and powerful. As we end the first two days of deeper intimacy, I can feel a breakthrough. I can feel deeper communication. I can feel the power of going through this step by step. Noticing patterns. Making changes. Feeling all the feelings. And seeing into the soul of another person.

**********

Andrea Hylen at Agape in Los Angeles

Posted in Relationships

Orgasmic Meditation: Why I OM- Part 2

Posted on December 18, 2015 by Andrea Hylen Leave a comment

Day 79 of 100 days of Blogging

Health benefits are one of the reasons I OM. Physical and Emotional. After spending last week in New York and OMing every day again, I became even more aware of it. Things like singing all the time. Singing is one of the things I do when I am most connected to my self and I am happy. I was singing out loud as I walked through the streets of New York.

Some of the things I have noticed over the last three years of practicing OM:

*More energy

*Better sleep

*Happier

*Grounded

*Feeling Connected to people everywhere

*Healthy weight for my body

*More clarity when I want to speak in a group

*Ability to hold a wider range of emotions and feelings, which leads to…

*Easier to witness another person’s pain and process without needing to fix anything, which leads to…

*Better relationships with family and friends and the strength and ability to coach and lead my business.

Below are some of the benefits reported by other practitioners of OM.

If you are interested in learning how to OM, go to this link for the most up to date classes in Washington, DC

Practitioners of OM Have Reported The Following Benefits:

Increases Overall Vitality. It lights you up from the inside out.
Increases Overall TurnON. When you’re TurnedON, things flow.
Increases Energy. There’s a well of energy that lives inside of you.
Increases libido. You’ll want sex more.
Reduces stress & irritability.
Increases ability to feel and know desire. You’ll be clear on what you want.
Lengthens orgasmic pleasure during intercourse. Yes, that “Place” extends.
Increases confidence with your body & in the bedroom.
Gain skills of concentration & attention.
Addresses chronic dissatisfaction. TurnON alters dissatisfaction.
Increases intimacy with your partner. OM creates more communication.
You will communicate better & feel more connected.

Source: http://onetaste.us/what-is-om/

**********

Andrea Hylen at Agape in Los Angeles

Posted in Orgasmic Meditation

Carving the Next Path: Is it really YOUR desire?

Posted on December 17, 2015 by Andrea Hylen Leave a comment

Day 78 of 100 days of writing

“Hidden beneath your feet is a luminous stage where you are meant to rehearse your eternal dance.” – Hafiz

In an enlivened conversation with a group of women this morning, the topic of following your desire came up. We were talking about learning to distinguish between the social conditioning of what we think we want and connecting with the true desire. Sometimes it is the same thing and sometimes we are so conditioned by society, family and friends, it is hard to delineate and distinguish our true desires.

Some examples:

Marriage, children, a 9-5 job, buying a house, retiring.

My own journey has included leaving a marriage, homeschooling my kids, using alternative medicine to heal an autoimmune condition, starting an on-line business, and living rent free while running a non-profit organization.

All of those paths went against the social conditioning learned in my family and community.

Here is an abbreviated version of tips I have used (and still do) to carve each new path.

#1 – See your life as a practice. Try new things. Be willing to look foolish. Failing is part of the process that helps you to discover who you are and what you want.

#2- Develop your intuition by increasing your awareness to your feelings. Notice when you feel happy or sad. Use the feelings as part of the practice. Follow the feelings and do the work to heal the things that trigger you and make new choices based on feelings.

#3 – Commit to one or more practices. Things like meditation, walking, journal writing, or exercise. Things that reduce stress, quiet your mind, and help you to release and let go and hear new answers to your questions.

#4 – Find several tribes of like minded people. This is where you get to practice using your voice, explore your feelings and desires and to find your authentic voice.

#5 – Shake up your routine. Anything that breaks the pattern. Sit in a different seat at the dinner table. Walk or drive a different path to work. Move your pillow to the foot of the bed and sleep in an opposite direction. Walk backwards. This will help you to rewire your brain and see things in a new way.

#6 – Take classes. Read books. Work with a coach. Be willing to learn something new. Be willing to change.

If you are interested in exploring more in a space with women who are ready to have deeper conversations, I will be teaching the next on-line 12 week program: An Experiential Life: Carving the Next Path – March 1, 2016-May 31, 2016. (Women only)

*Secret Facebook group

*Zoom video conferencing with a weekly conversation in the community of women

*Weekly exercises and energy tools

*Two individual coaching calls with me on Skype.

Join us!

https://andreahylen.com/an-experiential-life/

**********

Posted in Carving a New Path

Writing: Creating a New World

Posted on December 16, 2015 by Andrea Hylen Leave a comment

Day 77 of 100 days of Blogging

In a small used bookstore in Brooklyn, I found a book, “In Favor of the Sensitive Man and other essays” by Anais Nin. I am sure many of you know the author by this famous quote:

And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight in a bud was more painful then the risk it took to BLOSSOM. ~Anais Nin

One of the essays in the book is called The New Woman. It was from a lecture given at the Celebration of Women in the Arts in San Francisco, April 1974.

“I believe one writes because one has to create a world in which one can live. I could not live in any of the worlds offered to me-the world of my parents, the world of war, the world of politics. I had to create a world of my own, like a climate, a country, an atmosphere in which I could breathe, reign, and recreate myself when destroyed by living. That, I believe is the reason for every work of art.

The artist is the only one who knows that the world is a subjective creation, that there is a choice to be made, a selection of elements. It is a materialization, an incarnation, of his inner world. Then he hopes to attract others into it…

We also write to heighten our own awareness of life. We write to lure and enchant and console others. We write to serenade our lovers. We write to taste life twice, in the moment in retrospection.” ~Anais Nin

I am inspired by these words even more so today as I finish writing this blog post in a used bookstore in New York City on Crosby Street, Housing Works Bookstore and Cafe.

“Intentions compressed into words enfold magical power.” ~ Deepak Chopra

**********

Posted in Writing

Women (and Men): Your Voice Matters

Posted on December 15, 2015 by Andrea Hylen Leave a comment

Day 76 of 100 days of Blogging

What advice would you give to a group of younger women about what you have learned about using your power and your voice?

Sitting on the Hot Seat in a New York City OneTaste Meet-up group the other night, I was asked this question. My mind went from blank and then I was flooded with ideas. Too many for sharing in that moment. The hot seat and the question penetrated a strong desire to say it out loud. Here are my thoughts:

First, I would like to tell you that your voice matters. Sharing your ideas and perspective on issues and things that stir you is so important. Spend time exploring what you feel and think. Read. Listen. Explore.

*Find several tribes with like minded people. It is easier to find your authentic voice with like minded people. Listen. Practice using your voice. Be messy. Be open to thinking differently! Change your mind. Change your mind again. Each experience either reinforces what you think or it changes you.

*Offer new perspectives and new ideas to your tribe. Like minded does not mean never changing. Share information, dreams, feelings, challenge each other. Find your passions. Discover your unique gifts and talents and use them.

*Cultivate a feeling of safety inside of you. Take responsibility for your own emotions. If something pisses you off or makes you feel tender, then check within yourself to find the source. We all have an emotional history and things can happen that trigger it. So, take responsibility to feel, know, and heal…YOU! The people in front of you are mirrors for your inner thoughts, beliefs and feelings. Don’t expect anyone to fix you. Get in the rock tumbler of life and let experiences stir you up and reveal your bright, shiny essence.

*Hire a coach or therapist for support. Take a course that pushes an edge. Personal growth is a life long endeavor. LIFE LONG. You will keep growing and expanding throughout your entire life, if you choose. Weave in and out of inner reflection and outer connection. Both are important.

*Listen to people of all ages. The five year old and the one-hundred-and-five year old both have wisdom. Listen and then feel. How does it feel in your body? Do their words feel true for you?

Then…

*Take your voice into the world. In conversations, in writing blogposts, speaking on internet radio, on Persicope on Twitter and at the dinner table. Challenge people to have deeper conversations. Ask them what they think and feel. Listen to them. Be curious and wonder why they have a perspective that is the same or totally different from you. Engage in dialogues that expand ideas into solutions.

*You have the power to impact and influence a new world into existence.

YOUR Voice MATTERS!

**********

Posted in voice

Living in Flow: Expectations and Change

Posted on December 14, 2015 by Andrea Hylen Leave a comment

Day 75 of 100 days of Blogging

I intuitively felt that December was the month to come to New York for ten days. Spending time with my granddaughter and daughter and son-in-law, speaking at a Dramatic Adventure Theater Travelogue, spending time with friends socially and professionally and of course, December in New York City. What a great time of year to be here! I think of Rockefeller Center, Holiday decorations, Rockettes, FAO Schwartz toy store, Hot chocolate, ice skating and snow. I think of cold weather. Bundle up in your boots and winter coat.

But this year something is very different. The weather is unseasonably warm. It feels like springtime. And although I am used to the warm weather in Los Angeles and Florida this time of year, it is hard to really feel the anticipation of Christmas which is less than ten days away. It just kind of feels weird.

So, I have been reflecting on expectations and the ability to flow with change. A change in the weather. A change in a location. A change in life. Staying open to the unexpected and noticing what you feel and how you react.

The weather is actually awesome! I have been walking between 5 and 8 miles every day. Spending time in coffee shops that I might never have experienced because it would have been too long a walk in boots, snow and cold. I have expanded the range of exploration and I have been noticing signs all around me. Sitting on benches outside of the coffee shop. Lingering longer. And asking questions…

What does my soul want to experience?

Signs and Clues Appear:

I’m a Masterwork in Progress.

I got this!

Keep Generosity Present.

Bliss

The magic of home.

Find Something Shiny and New

Hmmm…find something shiny and new. I wonder what that might be.

And just like that, I am invited to participate at a Meet-up event as a Greeter, invited into a deeper conversation, I see two people I know at the coffee shop and then I coach a client on Skype.

I feel connected with the new and the old. I feel something new is opening within me and I am willing to sit in the process of waiting. Something is cooking. I feel connected and curious.

I’m not done!

**********

Posted in Living in Flow

Phase Transition: Make Space and Wander

Posted on December 13, 2015 by Andrea Hylen Leave a comment

Day 74 of 100 days of Blogging

There was a moment yesterday when I could see and feel the changes that are happening in my life. And in that moment I felt a little empty like the train had arrived at the station, dropped off all of the passengers and everything stopped. The conductor (me) pulled out the map and sat there figuring out what to do next.

I have arrived at the station after six months of releasing and allowing the space to be empty; To BE instead of DO. I see the beginning of the next phase. More glimpses of what I have been working toward creating. Balance of family, play, work, relationships.

This is one phase of the process of change. I have been through this so many times at different intervals in my life and this is what I notice in this type of phase transition, change and the in-between space:

*I begin to have new or reawakened awareness.

*I make some changes in my life. I experience frustration from some people in my life when I am in this period of change because I am uncomfortable when people ask me questions and I don’t have the answers. They mirror my internal discomfort. Or I notice that when I plan a weekend of pleasure, someone in my life has a crisis and there is an expectation that I need to stop everything to help them, even though they have other people who can help. I am torn between being a good friend or mother or daughter. In that moment, I am in a dilemma of what choice to make. Do I choose to focus on my own needs and desires or put everyone else first. It is uncomfortable and can feel restrictive. I can feel myself frustrated and angry.

*And then it happens, the changes begin to happen and I have what I want. Or I have the beginning of what I want. I have made some changes. People around me have adjusted. I am in a new stream of flow. I know when to help someone or when to practice my own self-care.

*Now, it is up to me.

*Am I going to sabotage the new way of being in subtle or obvious ways? Am I going to do things to pull people into the space where I just got free? Or can I sit in the stillness? In the unknown, uncertainty, unfamiliar space and slow down. Feel what it feels like to be in this next space and continue to let it unfold.

*I remind myself in this phase to stay empty.

*Fill myself slowly and consciously.

*****

An example of a day:

I had a whole day to focus on myself. No appointments or schedules. A day when I could tune in and let my intuition guide me to play, rest, work, have an adventure. Infinite possibilities and choices in this present moment.

I started by connecting with people in the house in Brooklyn where I was staying during my visit to NYC. There were five additional guests for two nights. We ate breakfast together and shared some of the details of our lives.

One of the women asked me about my coaching fees. She is a screenwriter who was hired to write a script for a film. She is experiencing some writer’s block and wanted to work with a coach to connect to the soul of the film. After a brief conversation, she hired me for three sessions and sent me the script draft. We will focus on story development and the connection to the soul; one of the things I LOVE to do in coaching.

After breakfast, I wanted to write and read and hang out in coffee shops and bookstores in Brooklyn and the East or West Village in New York. So, I googled coffee shops and picked the first destination.

I had a conversation with my oldest daughter and let her know I was available to babysit at their home in Queens in the evening so she and her husband could have some time together. We decided to connect later about the timing. I offered because I like to spend time with my granddaughter and it felt like the last time I could offer babysitting in the next few days before going back to Washington, DC.

Text from my daughter: Thanks for the offer. I am going into the city. I need to check with Jesse after he auditions the directors. Will let you know later this afternoon.

Now, it is late afternoon. I have several desires. The Strand Bookstore. A coffee shop in West Village. Regal Cinema in Union Square. I find myself moving in slow motion. I am not clear on my desire. I go slower so I can listen and feel connected to what I really want. I stand in the Regal Cinema lobby looking at the film choices and timing. I want to see The Danish Girl but if I babysit, it doesn’t look like I will have time. After ten minutes of standing there in uncertainty, I decide to move onto the busy, streets of New York.

The Strand Bookstore is in the next block. It is packed. Holiday and weekend shopping. I slowly walk up and down the aisles and move back onto the street. Too crowded. Not the right place for me today.

I walk around the block. Feeling. Thinking. Noticing. Letting myself feel empty and uncertain. I am in unfamiliar territory. It is a new place inside of me. A bubbling well that must be emptied to cultivate the next…

The key to discover the next path is to slow down.

I pause in front of a story and remember I have been craving pizza for a week. I feel a Yes inside of me. I notice the store right next to me is called Pie by the Pound. A restaurant that specializes in gluten free pizza. I pause for a moment and stand there checking within to feel my desire before going inside. I choose 4 different kinds of pizza. 4 small rectangular slices. Eat slowly. Enjoy this new experience. Gluten free, flat pizza. I eat until I am full then save the rest for later.

I look at the movie choices at the Regal Cinema again on my iPhone. Brooklyn is the next film showing. I am staying in Brooklyn so my curiosity piques. Film Description: An Irish immigrant in 1950s New York. She moves to America for an opportunity. When something happens at home in Ireland, she returns and must face a choice to stay in her old life in Ireland or return to her new life in America.

I feel a synchronicity. Letting go of the old. Making room for the new.

I purchase my movie ticket. Get settled in my seat and just as I reach to turn off my phone, I see a text from my sister: “Spoke to Dad this afternoon. He is so happy to be home. They had a health care professional visit and Dad is able to get all of the services he needs. He was really excited and happy. The health care person went around the house and made sure it was all safe for him.”

There is a moment when I feel I am not needed and I feel a loss. It is a blip on my emotional screen. I notice it. A moment of feeling: what is my value in the family if I am not there? I take a deep breath. Appreciate that I am connected to my family and that I do not have to be the caretaker. I CAN live my life and create new experiences. I CAN schedule time for me and know that everyone else is already cared for!

The film was perfect. I can feel it deeply. I recognize the feelings of letting go of one place to receive the next place.

Text from my daughter: Mom, thanks for the offer. We are exhausted from the auditions today. Jesse and Lucille sound asleep.

Another blip of loss. I am not needed. And then I feel the freedom.

It is 8pm on a Saturday night and I am in NYC with crazy, drunk Santa’s running around. Literally, throngs of people dressed up in the masculine and feminine versions of Santa with costumes, hats and bells. I walk slowly. I notice how other people are spending their Saturday night. Two drunk people weaving down the street brush up against me. Couples laughing and hugging. Groups of women with full shopping bags. Families huddled together, holding hands. A motor home with Hanukkah songs playing music on speakers intermingled with Christmas music. A police mobile station and people inside with ice packs on their heads.

This is a new beginning for me. What do I want to do right now?

I see THINK Coffee and decide to get a latte. Be silent. Reflect on my life before children. Reflect on my life before marriage. Reflect on the new desires that are emerging.

I dive into reading the yummy script of my new client.

I notice I am happy.

Me. NYC. Latte. Reading and writing in a little nook in THINK Coffee. Doing exactly what I want to be doing and being, right now.

After a few hours, I walk 1.3 miles to the M Train, choosing to walk instead of riding another train and transferring. The weather is gorgeous. NYC feels so good. I feel so good.

I arrive back in Brooklyn around midnight. Ten minutes later the house is filled with people arriving back from a class and dinner.

Briefly checking in with people before heading downstairs to my bedroom. Climbing into bed with a smile on my face.

The end of a New Day.

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Posted in An Evolutionary Woman's Journey Series, Carving a New Path

Wandering: The Alchemist

Posted on December 12, 2015 by Andrea Hylen Leave a comment

Day 73 of 100 days of Blogging

Today is a day of wandering. Sitting in silence. Listening for an inspiration. Asking the question: What does my soul want to experience today?

After a morning of reading, connecting with housemates and writing, I felt the inspiration to spend the day in several coffee shops.

First stop is The Swallow Cafe, 49 Bogart Street, Brooklyn, New York. East Williamsburg area.

Local community. Great coffee. Place is booming with conversation and creativity.

I feel inspired…so, here it is…

The inspiration is for me to start writing a book. It is not a new idea. I have many books on Amazon that were co-created with women in Heal My Voice programs. I have many drafts of several books. The bubbling idea at the moment is to look back at the reams of personal writing and create my own book. Create space and time for writing it. The whispers are getting louder.

I spent the evening with a writer last night. In the cafe now, I find myself rewinding and reviewing the conversation in my mind. I begin by opening a new word document and reading my writing, exploring any hints or clues about what I want to express.

I came across a blogpost I wrote from a concert tour I went on with my teenage daughter during the summer of 2009. A spontaneous conversation with a drummer, Mike Bedard who was on tour with Jordin Sparks. A moment when I saw him outside the concert venue and I took the time to reach out and tell him how much I enjoyed watching him perform. When I shared that this was the 42nd concert on our adventure that summer, he asked if I had read The Alchemist. An hour later, we finished our conversation and his manager found some free tickets for my daughter and me. An unexpected offer and gift.

I am inspired once again by The Alchemist. Wondering if there is a story for me to share…

Words from Wikipedia that pop out at me today:

*It’s what you have always wanted to accomplish

*…whoever you are, or whatever it is that you do, when you really want something, it’s because that desire originated in the soul of the universe.

*It’s your mission on Earth.

I connect with those words and let them simmer as I pack up my bags.

Hopping on the L train in Brooklyn and heading to a bookstore in the East Village for more inspiration:

The Strand…

*****

Here is a brief description of a part of, “The Alchemist by Paulo Coehlo,” as summarized in Wikipedia.

“Central to the novel is the concept of a Personal Legend. Santiago first learns of one’s Personal Legend from The King of Salem, who tells him “It’s what you have always wanted to accomplish. Everyone, when they are young, knows what their Personal Legend is.”^[10] He expounds on this, saying “…there is one great truth on this planet: whoever you are, or whatever it is that you do, when you really want something, it’s because that desire originated in the soul of the universe. It’s your mission on earth.”^[10] The King also tells Santiago of the importance of following the omens on the journey to realizing one’s personal legend. Coelho follows this advice himself; he will only start writing a book after finding a white feather.^[11]“

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Posted in An Evolutionary Woman's Journey Series

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